Love Lessons From My Indonesian Friend

     I have been in LA nearly 3 years and all of that time I have worked at Bloomingdales. The characters there, now i'm talking the staff not even the clients, are truly pieces of work in the best way possible. If you ever want to know your own true character flaws work in retail for 3 months and then ask a coworker what they don't like about you- believe me they will have an answer. So one of the ladies I was drawn to since the beginning is Waty. She is from Indonesia, married, has seen many more years then and I and loves to impart "word of wisdom." Since I don't have a mother to pass on her gems of knowledge I'm always fascinated to hear what advice older women give me. I believe you can't question wisdom it's not like knowledge that you can acquire through skill it takes time and only comes with age and experience.
      So during a recent shift there I gave her an update on some of the "situations" that have been going on in my world. We also discussed a scenario of a close friend as well. She said "you young girls have it hard these days" she then proceeded to start listing off things men do and don't like and what I should do find a good one. I said "wait wait wait let me write these down there are too many to remember" and she restated her previous points and expanded on them. Now, for the record, i'm not saying I agree with all of these just passing on her advice because she has some awesome points too. My favorite one that sticks out in mind is from 2 years ago and will kick off this list:

*I will try to write these as closely as how she actually spoke them
- You must fill in your eyebrows or no man will marry you they like nice full eyebrows
- Men are hunters they want to do hunting not be hunted
-You don't own people. Women think if they have a man then they own them and they are theirs. Men can leave at any time people have free will so you must be good. If they love you they will stay.
-No nagging they don't like to hear nagging or they will stop listening to you
-If it's a group of people it's not a date only one on one is date 
-Don't show them you love them. If they know you love them there is no fear and they won't work hard to get you. Only once you know he loves you can you show it.
-Set them free if they love you they come back
-They are more scared then you are, they don't know what they want. Give them time to figure it out and don't ask "why?" never ask "why?" you kill a man by asking "why?"
- If he does not love you forget about him and go in another direction it's that simple of course it's hard your heart will be broken you cry but you must walk away
-RESPECT you must equally respect each other 

        So there you have it folks straight for her mouth to my paper to my blog!!! As I mull this advice over as I write I smirk. It all seems quite silly but that is her experience and some of it I already know to be true from my experiences. Asking why, for instance, has lead me to write so many blogs on the topic of dating to the point of making me questioning everything because I rarely get the answers from men myself. Which isn't bad just exhausting! I cherish her wisdom and guidance because I believe in the lineage of women wishing to help each other on this maddening quest for love and a partner. Maybe after all this it really is my eyebrows ;)