Breaking the Replay Cycle

I really think the universe keeps giving us the same test until we choose to NOT repeat our same actions. In a light hearted example about once a month I binged on junk one night out with the girls we shared cheese pizza, loaded nachos, and mozzarella sticks no joke. Of course that made me ridiculously sick. I just watched this crazy "romantic" movie Last Night (another thing I really should not do) and I'll be fine and then become a melting pot of outrageous emotions. Love movies trigger my crazy internal women that is usually sane and rational. Today I invited a friend to lunch slightly announcing where and what time I would be going with the secret intention of making someone else want to go. Turns out she couldn't make it but the new shoe guy did... and he never eats on the terrace. I'm 99.01% super in control of my life and my choices here and that's one of the biggest things I like about being in LA. I do what I want when I want and for the time being that's how I like it. I think I'm starting to break some of these cycles if your not matching the effort I am putting in then I'm not going to feel bad about it. I've actually taken to giving a concentrated burst of attention when I feel inclined then walking away (particularly from guys in the shoe department) it sure as hell beats pouring every ounce of energy into something or someone who does not really care. In the movie the lead Johanna says "In the middle of most nights, when I can't sleep I replay you" and I think so many of us do that. Now I try to think of the one person who will always believe in me and support me- myself. Maybe one day that will include someone else but for now it's easier to just try and break the cycle.