I have had so much joy in my life since my friend moved to LA last week. He’s black but that never has been a factor in our friendship. To me I see his creative passion and determination. Today it has become a factor because this is NOT OKAY! For the umpteenth time in his life he had his shit thrown around and searched pinned and was in the back of a cop car simply because he’s black. It was santa monica blvd broad daylight and he was walking home from a dance audition- this is our city this is our world.
Two days he ago he had a mini freak out when he realized I had been driving around knowingly with one head light out. I made a joke about my white girl privilege because “nothing has happened to me yet” he said “it would have with my black ass driving around this posh neighborhood.” I knew he was right his countless examples of incidents that have occurred in his life have proven to me how skewed our experiences are in relation to race. After every incident when I, in my ignorance, say “but why??? I don’t understand why?” he responds with a sincerely solum “I don’t know Sue i’m just black.”
When cases like Trayvon Martin happens it upsets me to the root of my social justice heart. For him it means to seal a fate that one day the same will happen to him. With each incident he fears more and more ‘will I be able to get away alive from this one?’ One wrong move, one mis judgment, and someone could kill him just because he’s living in a place, walking down a street, or happens to “look” like someone whose done something (only matching description... the color of his skin).
I walk around with no thought in mind that I’m going to be stopped unless I’m doing something wrong and I know it (carrying an open container of booze in my purse for hypothetical instance). He was so set on getting his California ID immediately upon getting here. I knew from HIS stories an ID becomes a golden ticket of proof that I “legally have a right to be here in this city/neighborhood see this card had an address and my name that WON’T show up on your database as a criminal.” He always walks with a small voice in his head saying beware they might stop you.
He casually mentioned this morning his house key might be missing because of “his scuffle with the cops.” He didn’t want to tell me because he didn’t want to acknowledge that even here in Los Angeles once of the most diverse cities in America it was STILL HAPPENING. I had said when he debated moving here that “It’s different here there are so many kinds of people it shouldn’t be an issue.” I’ve been proven wrong as I sit here so saddened in my heart that he has to deal with this- again.
I can’t claim to know what being randomly stopped, having my stuff thrown and searched by one cop, as i’m pinned up against a car by a second cop feels like. I do know what the back of a cop car feels like being cadged liked a wild animal whose been “bad” my crime had been being out past town curfew at 16- but what is his crime?!? They claimed the description was for a black man with braids. Well he is black but he has dreads. He is also one of the skinniest tinniest men with a bizarre sense of fashion that never screams “i’m up to no good.” Most likely there was no person they were looking for (they always say that) but “People with braids don’t walk around this neighborhood a lot” said one cop.
He didn’t fit their vision of what the color of the neighborhood is suppose to look like. Even though he is EXACTLY what weho is.... proud, loud, gay, and amazing. If anything I don’t “fit” into what my area is as a straight, white, girl, who likes to stay home at night and watch Jane Austen movies. Either way all of that is JUDGEMENT- very skewed unrealistic judgement. I thought in this modern age most individuals were like me and saw people as people with different color skin but no longer were archaic to only see a person’s color not them as human being. To me he look likes someone who wouldn’t hurt a fly, got his bad boy stage out years ago, and is “hustling” in the best kind of ways for a future career in movies.
The thing that confuses me the most is the elevated of aggression. Why toss his stuff, and throw him up against the car. Why anger- why hate? I’m sure there is a way to examine a bag, and question a person, without all the added hostility. There has to be a different way- this is 2013 not the 50’s. Most importantly please beware this is still happening all the time and not just dramatized media coverage on the TV but in real life like 3 blocks from by apartment with my best friend who happens to be black, have dreads, and kinda sorta looks like a guy the cops “might” be looking for. We allow this to happen in the name of safety but who is really getting hurt in the end?
