The Privilidge of Health

           Health is truly one of those things you take for granted until you don't have it. Sure that yearly flu reminds you how sensitive your body is to it's environment and also it's tremendous power to heal. However what happens you body seems to be continuously letting you down. If you can go about you day and not think about everything you put in your mouth you have this privilege. If you can go to any parking lot and not have to worry wear the handicap spot is or if there's accessible stairways then you have this privilege. If you've never had to go to weekly chemo treatments, allergy shots, etc you have this privilege.

For the past 4 months every single thing I've put in my mouth I have to consider
A) what is the likely hood this will make me sick
B) what are the compounds that make up this items?
    1. Is this a compound that makes me sick
    2. Do I want to risk it and do it anyways?
C) How much or little of this do I want to consume
D) If I have a reaction to this how far away from a trash/toilet/safety am I?
E) When was the last time I had this- how did I feel after?

And then after considering all these things- will I eat/ drink this item?

      It is not a fun way to live it makes eating out nearly impossible I stick to the same 3 restaurants and eat the same thing each time. It makes the idea of "splurging" on a good meal or a delicacy void
It makes socializing, holidays, and any event where "food is provided" hell to attend. I'm not going to get started on $300 i've spent on doctors alone (will save heath care costs for another blog post). So how can I transform this post into something inspiring and not just about what's it's like to have IBS and SIBO and after 2 treatments no success in eliminating the bacteria?

      How about discussing a commitment to health. None of this is about weight for me other then the fact I would like my ever increasing gas filled stomach to be smaller! It's about how having a body, combined with the mind, and soul can be a vessel of and health can contribute to happiness. When you're well the day is easier, anyone who has experienced chronic pain knows how debilitating long term pain can be to your happiness. I don't think it's impossible just much more of a challenge "to be happy" when the body/mind/soul aren't in a working symbiosis.

       When all is said and done at the end of the day i'm committed to my well being. I'm not ignoring the issues hoping they'll vanish by good luck or fate. Instead i'm  everyday actively attempting to find a neutral balance in myself. I've now done 2 days of a 5 day experiment (doctors suggestion) having only smoothies to give my GI tract a "rest"so far it's only made me starving, cranky, and actually made my stomach as big as it was off the diet and on antibiotics. These series of setbacks are crushing because they've told me "you're doing all you can do" and so I just keep trying. Sometimes the biggest lesson you can learn is to just keep trying.