At the end of February Rogue, my adopted shelter kitten, turned 1. She was almost 5 months when she came home with me and has literally barely left my side since. When I left Massachusetts for LA I had to say goodbye to my cat Zooey and our family had years before 2 tragic cat deaths before her. It was hard leaving her behind but my situation when coming here was so unstable I thought it unfair to bring her with me. After Zooey passed getting my own cat here in LA was always on my mind. I missed having curled up balls of fluff sleeping on my feet and head bumping me for attention. I missed caring for something that loved you back so openly and that I could shower with love without scaring away.
Many times I looked into local LA shelters and pet adoption agencies. I had them bookmarked and would every so often look at all the adorable pets who needed homes. I felt however that my financial situation was not steady enough to be able to properly provide for a pet and sometimes I worked crazy amounts like 22 out of 24 days. Then I got sick. I was diagnosed with a bacterial overgrowth that completely ruined my way of life and made me extremely weak. I went on a 2 week sick leave from work and was very depressed.
It is hard to live a day to day life when your in chronic pain. By body prevented me from doing social things I loved like hiking and extended time away from places without restrooms. Eating out was nearly impossible because I regurgitated food and even a short trip to Vegas had me planning out all my own meals to cook while there. I was on active suicide watch by my therapist and I was looking for anything that could make me happy enough to want to stay on this planet.
One particularly bad night I called my father it was nearly 2 in the morning on the east coast because I could not get myself out of car. After talking to him I came up with the temporary fix of going on an adventure to explore somewhere new. But once I got back all the joy I had felt being away could not stay with me. I read on a SIBO blog post that someone said the only thing that helps me get up in the morning is that they needed to care of their pet. They also said it was the only thing that helped bring them joy in this challenging time. My mind became fixed at that point and with my father’s reassurance he could help cover any big expenses I was determined.
Being a big animal advocate I wanted to go to a no kill shelter and found one the west side that looked promising. It was having a $25 special for kitten season. I was a bit intimidated by going there but once I walked in the door it was nothing but welcome helping staff and a good clean environment for the pets. You can find them at nkla.org/. I was impressed and touched at how the volunteers and workers were so dedicated to the welfare of these creatures. I had my eye on two sister cats Maya and Mia. When I had one one one play time with them Mia was not at all interested in me Maya on the other hand was playful and adorable.
Now the crazy thing is I am actually allergic to cats.But I did a ton of research and found that lighter female cats produce the least dander but after holding Maya my eyes burned and my nose was running. I told myself this would be the new normal till I got use to it again. I couldn't however adopt that day because I was about to do a 3 day work stretch and wanted to be able to be with the kitten more or less all the time until they adjusted. I was extremely upset when I saw late Thursday night, when I was planning on going Friday morning, Maya had been adopted.
I reminded myself I was able to give an animal a loving happy home so I went back again to see if there was another kitten that was a good fit. In the cage where Maya had been was another grey tabby Rogue so named for her beautiful marking after the superhero. When I was put in a room with her she stayed curled up on my chest not desperate to run and play like the other kittens. She was more scared and skittish and I wondered if she’d always be a scaredy cat or if shed open up on acquaintance. I played with another cat, Samantha, that day but the one thing about Rogue was I didn’t feel itchy at all. She was all curled up on me and nothing happened.
My adoption specialist Articea was a gem she took me through everything and made sure I knew the power of the commitment I was making. In conjunction with Best Friends Animal society I adopted Rogue that day. She was very scared her first few days at home but I was in love. I couldn't wait to get home from work to play with her and I thought everything she did was absolutely precious. It was just the beginning but she was already was bringing me such joy and happiness.
Over the next few weeks Rogue settled in, met my friends, and totally opened up to her new home. I even started teaching her little tricks. Even when I feel my most miserable I can still bring myself to get up and make sure she has food, water, and a clean litterbox. On the harder days she somehow knows and comforts me by allowing extra cuddles or sleeping with her head on my shoulder. Every night she’s waiting right by the door when I come in and she’s the first thing I pick up. After working in mental health all day i’m drained and found even having a roommate ask “how was your day” was irritating but somehow having a cat be there to greet me was different.
I can’t say that I no longer think about suicide anymore but I can’t imagine giving up Rogue either. She now does a plethora of tricks from rolling over, to jumping through hoops, to my favorite little cat high five. It isn’t always easy when she destroys things or gives me the cold shoulder because I’m out of wet food and she doesn’t want just dry food. However every day I have something I can love and in her own animal way I think she loves me back. They day I adopted Rogue she truly saved my life. I’m so grateful this little munchkin wasn’t killed in a shelter and is thriving on her first birthday.
