Showing posts with label friendship. Show all posts
Showing posts with label friendship. Show all posts

Sunday, March 6, 2016

Why Adopting a Shelter Kitten Saved My Life


  

       At the end of February Rogue, my adopted shelter kitten, turned 1. She was almost 5 months when she came home with me and has literally barely left my side since. When I left Massachusetts for LA I had to say goodbye to my cat Zooey and our family had years before 2 tragic cat deaths before her. It was hard leaving her behind but my situation when coming here was so unstable I thought it unfair to bring her with me. After Zooey passed getting my own cat here in LA was always on my mind. I missed having curled up balls of fluff sleeping on my feet and head bumping me for attention. I missed caring for something that loved you back so openly and that I could shower with love without scaring away.
       Many times I looked into local LA shelters and pet adoption agencies. I had them bookmarked and would every so often look at all the adorable pets who needed homes. I felt however that my financial situation was not steady enough to be able to properly provide for a pet and sometimes I worked crazy amounts like 22 out of 24 days. Then I got sick. I was diagnosed with a bacterial overgrowth that completely ruined my way of life and made me extremely weak. I went on a 2 week sick leave from work and was very depressed.
    It is hard to live a day to day life when your in chronic pain. By body prevented me from doing social things I loved like hiking and extended time away from places without restrooms. Eating out was nearly impossible because I regurgitated food and even a short trip to Vegas had me planning out all my own meals to cook while there. I was on active suicide watch by my therapist and I was looking for anything that could make me happy enough to want to stay on this planet.
    One particularly bad night I called my father it was nearly 2 in the morning on the east coast because I could not get myself out of car. After talking to him I came up with the temporary fix of going on an adventure to explore somewhere new. But once I got back all the joy I had felt being away could not stay with me. I read on a SIBO blog post that someone said the only thing that helps me get up in the morning is that they needed to care of their pet. They also said it was the only thing that helped bring them joy in this challenging time. My mind became fixed at that point and with my father’s reassurance he could help cover any big expenses I was determined.
    Being a big animal advocate I wanted to go to a no kill shelter and found one the west side that looked promising. It was having a $25 special for kitten season. I was a bit intimidated by going there but once I walked in the door it was nothing but welcome helping staff and a good clean environment for the pets. You can find them at nkla.org/. I was impressed and touched at how the volunteers and workers were so dedicated to the welfare of these creatures. I had my eye on two sister cats Maya and Mia. When I had one one one play time with them Mia was not at all interested in me Maya on the other hand was playful and adorable.
    Now the crazy thing is I am actually allergic to cats.But I did a ton of research and found that lighter female cats produce the least dander but after holding Maya my eyes burned and my nose was running. I told myself this would be the new normal till I got use to it again. I couldn't however adopt that day because I was about to do a 3 day work stretch and wanted to be able to be with the kitten more or less all the time until they adjusted. I was extremely upset when I saw late Thursday night, when I was planning on going Friday morning, Maya had been adopted.
    I reminded myself I was able to give an animal a loving happy home so I went back again to see if there was another kitten that was a good fit. In the cage where Maya had been was another grey tabby Rogue so named for her beautiful marking after the superhero. When I was put in a room with her she stayed curled up on my chest not desperate to run and play like the other kittens. She was more scared and skittish and I wondered if she’d always be a scaredy cat or if shed open up on acquaintance. I played with another cat, Samantha, that day but the one thing about Rogue was I didn’t feel itchy at all. She was all curled up on me and nothing happened.

    My adoption specialist Articea was a gem she took me through everything and made sure I knew the power of the commitment I was making.  In conjunction with Best Friends Animal society I adopted Rogue that day. She was very scared her first few days at home but I was in love. I couldn't wait to get home from work to play with her and I thought everything she did was absolutely precious. It was just the beginning but she was already was bringing me such joy and happiness.
       Over the next few weeks Rogue settled in, met my friends, and totally opened up to her new home. I even started teaching her little tricks. Even when I feel my most miserable I can still bring myself to get up and make sure she has food, water, and a clean litterbox. On the harder days she somehow knows and comforts me by allowing extra cuddles or sleeping with her head on my shoulder. Every night she’s waiting right by the door when I come in and she’s the first thing I pick up. After working in mental health all day i’m drained and found even having a roommate ask “how was your day” was irritating but somehow having a cat be there to greet me was different.

    I can’t say that I no longer think about suicide anymore but I can’t imagine giving up Rogue either. She now does a plethora of tricks from rolling over, to jumping through hoops, to my favorite little cat high five. It isn’t always easy when she destroys things or gives me the cold shoulder because I’m out of wet food and she doesn’t want just dry food. However every day I have something I can love and in her own animal way I think she loves me back. They day I adopted Rogue she truly saved my life. I’m so grateful this little munchkin wasn’t killed in a shelter and is thriving on her first birthday.







Saturday, July 20, 2013

How to Have an Epic Wedding Proposal

I would like to start with my idea of the WORST WAY to get proposed to and married like ever I would die.....

Thing we've learned from this video:
    A- starting off by a cheating thing, or being pulled over by a cop (i've seen that to) or any of these bone head things are not good tricks! Starting off angry to then joy is not how I would want to start my life with someone
   B- it's very impersonal there is no intimacy with close family and friends
   C- in general girls plan this idea in their minds for years ( we are programmed to) and to have all the joy of a life long dream mashed into 15 minutes is intense- at least in this scenario there is no pre wedding jitters or months of family squabbles!

Oh look I found an "arrest" proposal Fake Arrest for Contest


       Now I would like to share some of the videos I have come across in the past year that are so amazing and beautiful. When I get cynical and believe me I have my moments I watch these videos and it gives me hope that there are people out there who really do love each other. In my motherless daughters group the girls inspire me by the stories they tell of the men who wouldn't give up on them even when they pushed them away or tested their love- they wouldn't back down. When you've experienced loss your default assumption is you will die young or anyone you love will die it's just the way your brain thinks. If I ever get married I know my Mom will not be there and that hurts and I'm not even engaged yet. The girls explained to me that "when you find the right one everything makes sense and you can't picture it any other way because you are creating a new family with them." Here are some truly thoughtful proposals by people who have found the one person who makes them want to jump on the wedding train. 

5. This is actually a sudo copy cat of my number one 1 favorite with a gratitude twist thrown in which I love
What we learned from this video:
     - it's effective when you speak from the depths of you heart sincerely
     - even acquaintances will help you do pretty much anything for love
     - if you don't have an 100% original idea you can just switch up someones already brilliant
       one. Which you will see in the number 1 spot.

4. You can totally try to rope a celeb into helping
I mean Zach Braff come on really!
I don't even know this game but how original!
What we learned from getting a celeb to help is:
     -It's effective to use someones favorite thing in their proposal
     - You get serious bonus points for somehow/someway convincing the celeb to do it
     - Your bringing it to the next level which deserves major props

3. Nothing quite says commitment like a proposal over 6 years!!!!!
What we've learned from this video:
    -It's effective to still have a trick up you sleeve even if they "know"    
    - When you know you know so why not make something special out of the build up
    - The pre planning aspects of this is truly a long term commitment making it powerful


2. When in doubt you can always default to her favorite story growing up
She always wanted to be Windy and now she is!
This is a little podunk but he really took the fairy tale thing to heart
Thing we learned from these videos:
    - it's effective to make a girl's fantasy/dream come to life
    - there's something powerful about connecting her current life to her childhood ideas
    - most girls like getting dresses up so that always helps

Now for the top proposal video ever!
Why does that not look like anything in video number 5.........Because the number one spot is a tie!!!! Between Matt and Ginny (above) and Issac and Amy's (below)
Wow- just wow. I am not kidding you these 2 videos make me cry they are so amazing!
What did we learn from these top truly most epic best proposals ever?!?!?!?!?
   - it's effective when you come up with/dream of the most insane proposal plan and then actually make it happen
   - When you can include the person's family and friends they will love it even more because they get to share the experience
   - the build up to the reveal is intense/exciting/magical they both knew with the first few seconds they would be proposed to but it wasn't until 5 minutes later to which the moment and excitement is continuously growing. When they are finally asked they can barely speak because they are in so much shock/amazement/pure joy.

People often say that chivalry is dead and that men of quality and substance no longer walk this fine planet. Well I can't say there are many but there are 7 men and 1 women who certainly do. So i'm playing my odds a billion to 1! Ya know my father has the super lucky all the time gene and he passed it on to me in the form of getting really lucky every once in awhile! One of the girls in my motherless daughters group said "I know my mother sent me this man this best kind of man." So between Dad's luck and Mom's divine presence I've gotta believe that I can find that 8th super amazing man.... there must be one left somewhere in the world!



PS This one came out 7/24/13 http://gma.yahoo.com/blogs/abc-blogs/man-uses-42-bed-sheets-write-marry-girlfriends-122445614.html


Saturday, July 6, 2013

Chemistry VS Attraction


So the past few months I have pondering the idea of chemistry vs attraction when it comes to dating. I go back in forth in my head about the difference and similarities and basically what makes you want to date, sleep with, or marry someone. Let's start with some definitions....

at·trac·tion

[uh-trak-shuhn] noun
1. the act, power, or property of attracting.
2.attractive quality; magnetic charm; fascination; allurement; enticement: the subtle attraction of her strange personality.
3.a person or thing that draws, attracts, allures, or entices: The main attraction was the after-dinner speaker.
4.a characteristic or quality that provides pleasure; attractive feature: The chief attractions of the evening were the good drinks and witty conversation.
5.Physics. the electric or magnetic force that acts between oppositely charged bodies, tending to draw them together.
 

chem·is·try

[kem-uh-stree] noun, plural chem·is·tries.

1. the science that deals with the composition and properties of substances and various elementary forms of matter. Compare element (  def 2 ) .
2. chemical properties, reactions, phenomena, etc.: the chemistry of carbon.
3.the interaction of one personality with another: The chemistry between him and his boss was all wrong.
4.sympathetic understanding; rapport: the astonishing chemistry between the actors.
5. any or all of the elements that make up something: the chemistry of love. 
 
So by definition from a science perspective attraction is what happens when there is chemistry already present. Can the same apply for dating? 
 
     Let's take actors for example... they are attractive (well most of them) and they essentially get paid to have the kind of personality that draws people into watching them. When you meet said actor in real life would there even be chemistry or just a really strong attraction to them. When I've flirted with hot celebrities over the past 2 (almost 2) years here in LA I become puddy. I say stupid stuff, I smile a lot, and generally my sentences leave something to be desired. I feel attraction and chemistry but who knows that is going on in their head/body/heart! Is that chemistry or just a simple physical attraction?
 
     Let's now do the opposite lets say you have a really great re pore with someone who is your "friend." You laugh, share secrets, and have an amazing time in each others company but one or both parties is not attracted to the other. The chemistry of the relationship is %100 there so why are you not mutually attracted? This is one thing I still can't really wrap my head around because something is there and if it's not "attraction" what is it?
 
UPDATE: * TYPES OF BONDING: *as read in If the Buddha Dated
1. Physical/material
2. Intellect
3. Interests 
4. Values/lifestyle
5. Psychological/emotional
6. Creativity/passion
7. Spirituality
8. Essence
 
Can you really truly have chemistry without attraction or be attracted to someone without having real chemistry going on between the two of you?   
 
    My entire romantic history has in one way or another revolved around this very idea it wasn't until this week have I been able to fully grasp that they can indeed be mutually exclusive. You can really want to sleep with someone who you have 0 chemistry with. You can also have great chemistry that doesn't always have to be a precursor for attraction. It can be, oh trust me, it really can be but one does not always create the other. An example being someone who you get along great with of the sex you are not attracted to- a friendship chemistry.  I've come to realize what I want is the full package I want someone where together we have both. I have people who are strongly in one camp in my mind I toy with this idea of "could we have more of X?." The answer is apparently no we are just what we are. Do I think both chemistry and attraction can grow from nothing to epic- ya I certainly do. The biggest obstacle to attraction and love is indifference. 
     
       Now to go one level deeper if you have chemistry and are attracted to each other and NOTHING happens what is going on then? Is something holding back the relationship from progressing like fear or uncertainty?  I'm still learning to tell the difference between friendship and romantic chemistry. As well as the difference between physical attraction and maybe mental attraction... for me intelligence can give psychical a strong boost, Intelligence=Sexy! I keep reminding myself the world is not black and white- it is many MANY shades of grey. Will I look back and regret any of these encounters when i'm 101???  NO because I have learned something from everybody who has come into my life. Now I just need to find that person where we are equally attracted and the romantic chemistry is unmistakable! 
 
Science words that have a double relationship meeting..... bonds, cohesion,symbiosis, electric, connection, stimulus, and of course chemistry/attraction -did you even learn anything from this blog ?!?!? :)
 
This graphic is really really amusing to me
 

Monday, April 8, 2013

Byakuren: Human Revolution Year 1

Byakuren  "The mission of the Byakuren is to be pioneering practitioners, to protect fellow members who embrace the Gohonzon, and to safeguard our community centers—the strongholds of kosen-rufu." —Daisaku Ikeda (This mean to help out my Buddhist organization (SGI) with a fighting happy spirit)

     On Easter day one year ago I made a commitment to become a Byakuren and get involved with supporting members and be less ego driven. I remember the day I got inducted so vividly. I was scared I literally knew no one there except the girls I was first introduced to in order to sign up, Shima and Ty. I had no clue was I getting myself into other then the time commitment aspect of it and the fact everyone continuously said "it will change your whole life state." I was down for change and making friends so I swallowed my hesitation and went. I was away from my family on a holiday something that was still very new for being in LA but it felt right being there. After being inducted I felt excited and ready to tackle the challenge. At first I started off really strong going to every meeting and helping out the first Sunday of every month at KRG (when we chant for world peace) and did some toban shifts (3 hour night shifts at the center). Then I entered into the hellish realm of working 7 days a week. For 3 months I wasn't able to do ANY ACTIVITIES it was hurting my heart, my soul, and my life mission.
     I chanted to have time to be able to do Byakuren activities on top of the regular meetings as well. At that beginning of the year I was also appointed as a vice leader. So it became beyond clear that I needed a different schedule to be able to go about participating in everything I wanted to do. I got that and have been able to do almost every single activity as a member, leader and byakuren over the past 2 months (winning). I steadfastly helped out at the last 3 KRG even though waking up at 7 am is my personal hell. I got to witness the transformation of my leader Ty from dedicated Byakuren on her transitional journey forward. I've got to spend time with amazing/inspiring Colleen who reminds me to chant for what I want NOW.
    Last week it was the induction ceremony for new girls who want to undertake the challenge/transformation. I told myself I was only going to see Ty graduate, I really wanted to be exploring Malibu (which I did after). However it was so inspiring to hear about other young women's victories and to video conference with other Byakuren groups on the west coast! It was epic to see Ty give her "goodbye" speech after 9 years and the new girls collect their shift supply goodies bag- I loved it all. I started to think how has doing this changed me? I don't see any major transformation in my life state or have some major experience for proof even thought I was happy, I felt a little disheartened. I was thankful for the new ones joining and hoping for their transformation even though I couldn't see me own.
2012 Byakuren Induction
     Later that night Shima posted 2 pictures of me that I had never seen before from the induction back in 2012. I was literally shocked I personally think I look like an entirely different person. 2012 me looks a little scared but hopeful - unsure but willing- and my general size. I immediately looked at the 3 pictures I took that day (before my camera died) and was blown away. 2013 me looks joyful, confident, content, and radiant (also a little tired but hey my back was thrown out- I wasn't aiming for perfection)... maybe something had changed. I was left with this feeling of the journey I can see the transformation physically but what was the real end result on the inside?

2013 Byakuren Induction with Ty my fearless leader :)

   Today my alarm went off at 7am the first Sunday of the month it was time for KRG at 8. It would be our first one without Ty and I was pinged with a bit of sadness. It took everything I had to physically get myself there a shot of soda, some nice perfume, a pump me up jam, but it still takes tremendous energy even when you know the great benefit it will have. When I got to the room there was only one other older Byakuren and the rest where new. Us "experienced" girls shared some knowledge about our duties and what it means to be Byakuren during these meetings. I spent the next 3 hours dedicating myself to helping the meeting be as inspiring to the members as possible. Towards the end I talked with Carrie (who had come later on) about the induction and how it had been a year for us.
    I mentioned how bizarre it was to be helping train these new girls and how we once knew nothing about how to support these meetings either. There are specific duties, jobs, and general things we do always with the members happiness in mind. I concurred with Diyva the best way to lead them was by example and guidance. Don't get me wrong it wasn't about "teaching" them what I know in an ego way it was about seeing how far I had come and what I could do help train the next generation. They just represented me a year ago in a symbolic way. I was in awe at how much we have grown. Carrie, Diyva, Collen and I were all inducted last year and I never even realized until Ty posted a group shot from the previous year. I didn't know any of them then- we are all right next to each other- perfect strangers who are now connected.

LA Northwest inductees 2011

   If I get nothing else out of doing Byakuren it would at least be that I got to learn and grow along the side of these amazing women. We generally do a 2 year term so I have one year left to go. I questioned did I transform enough in the past year can I undergo my human revolution in the 1 year I have left? I look back and see one solid year of working to be the best Bodhisattva of the earth I can be. 1 year of struggle and victory. 1 year of friendship and bonding. Whether it being wobbling in the courtyard, performing skits, helping members, polishing our own inner mirrors, or transforming our Karma we did one year and we can do so much in the year we have left!

Carrie, Colleen, Ty, Shannon, and Cammie at February KRG fighting with our lion hearted spirit!

Thursday, December 13, 2012

A Few Good Men

So after pondering my day filled with much flirting... I've come to realize I am a shameless flirt.....also more importantly that a women really needs a good man around not just one but several.
1) The Potential Boyfriend: This is a guy you interact with every so often and every time it's electrifying. You tend to find ways to "bump" into them or try and spend more time in there general vicinity (come on don't lie to yourself you have done this). My current potential is yoga/counselor and after we interact I have that giddy butterfly feeling. There's a mix of hope and intrigue that creates a dynamic combo of excitement. Where will it lead??? who knows! and you like it.
2) The Guy Who Makes You Feel Sexy: There's this ongoing joke at the center about clients who just ooze this sexy tiger like sexy prowess. I laugh even typing it now but there's just something about these individuals that just makes you putty. They know just what to say to make you blush and you feel yourself being drawn even when you KNOW it's all part of their game/manipulation/persona. They know how to woo and every women needs to feel desired sometimes.
3) The Backup: Now don't get me wrong I don't think it's really fair to always keep someone on the back burner if you never have any intention of dating them. I have this friends and we've been "friends" for almost 10 years now. We never really date but when either of us needs a pick me up the other one is there. Could I see something happening with us one day - sure we talk about it often. We blame timing but sure is nice to somewhere could be there if and when you wanted it.
4) The Platonic Friend: Okay okay it is REALLY hard for guys and girls to be friends without somoene falling for the other it's nature. However when you can find that balance there's nothing better then being able to get a male perespective on things. Somone you can go watch sports with or play video games for hours. It also helps that you can wear sweats and keep your hair in a messy bun and neithert party will give a fuck.
5) The One: So there's one guy out there somewhere who is the right guy for you. Maybe he is your friend, makes you feel sexy, etc... but most importantly he's your rock-stability. You can trust him with anything because he knows you better then anyone else. A life partner it not easy to find. First you have to know yourself because the more you know about what you want the better chance you have of finding it. Some people rush the whole process because they just want the finish line moment of a wedding and kids. I would rather wait 50 years to find the one person who will get me then rush anything because I don't want to be alone.
How many men do you think a girl needs in her life?
I'd also like to share this accurate/hilarious article How to Woo a Girl: http://www.wikihow.com/Woo-a-Girl

Saturday, November 17, 2012

One Year in LA Celebration


Vintage Heaven!



         So it seemed only fitting that after the Edison was closed on my birthday that it would be the perfect spot to honor my one surviving life in one of America's hardest cities- Los Angeles. In my mind I envisioned a day off frolicking around the city just appreciating it then some booze fest at night. Then I was denied the day of work so literally worked 9:30 to 6 ran home, dashed around, and fancied up. Not to mention I had to open up the counseling center at 8:30 am the next morning....(warning recipe for disaster). Some friends met at mine for dinner at my favorite local burger place and wine. We drove to the Edison which is Downtown (always a little ominous) and upon entry I was ecstatic. It could of been 1922 for all I was concerned. I was a little bummed that they shut off the vintage music and were now playing indie pop I guess?!??! We made it just in time to watch an ariel show :) I ordered The Mistress it seemed fitting. The night proceeded just like most others at a bar would. I was stopped several times and complimented on my feather and outfit. I adored the old machinery and random 20's artifacts they had scattered about the place. Eventually they opened up this private room and we went a bit picture crazy it was everything I imagined. Crystal convinced me into a round of truth or dare her favorite bar time activity. That resulted in me meeting a group of guy one which I somehow convinced to dance to "Be My Baby" as i twirled around in my flowly dress I was overjoyed. It may have been the absinthe or the fact I was so proud for having made it a year but I felt exhilarated. Afterwards we ended up in this cigar shop playing chess with checkers pieces. My big toes were blistered on 3 sides but it was worth it. I'm so happy the ladies were there to share it with me! As I literally rolled out of bed at 7:40 the next morning a mere 4 hours of rest I had no regrets.. I survived it all and celebrated in style- what more could a girl ask for?


Cheers to One Year in LA!!!

Sunday, October 21, 2012

LA Year One: Top 10 Moments

Me officially on the West Coast!

So in honor of my one year living/surviving/kicking ass in LA I would like to mention my top 10 favorite moments (in chronological order)

1. My friend Dan moved out here to SD 2 years ago and he was going to be in town 2 weeks after I had been in LA. When he asked "Do you want to go to a vegetarian place?" I nearly died I was so excited. It was in Dtown Culver City and I got a tap on my back as I turned and screamed while simultaneously throwing my arms around him. It was only 2 weeks in but it was so comforting to see someone so familiar and comforting. The food was awesome and I had lavender lemonade to drink :) By using my powers of subtle suggestion I eventually got Dan to "come up with the idea" of going to the Santa Monica Pier. It was just like I had always pictured it and my first view of the pacific ocean in real life. The pier is like a magic world of fun and chaos. The sun was shinning and the ocean breeze keeping me cool it was perfect.

2. Jennie was in town and we had run all over the city sightseeing. One tour guide was like you took  her up to Muhalland drive right? I hadn't -so we went right at sunset to this overlook which shows all of LA for miles (what you can see through the hazy pollution anyways). It's far enough away that all the lights look like twinkling stars. The sky becomes pink/purple/orange and it's amazing. If felt real being there with one of my east coast friends in LA like it was cementing my presence in the city.

3. It was New Years Eve and Jennie and I ventured over to Amy's house for a pre party. There was karaoke and shots. We went to hermosa pier to a New England themed bar. We arrived 10 minutes before midnight just in time to pee grab a drink and rejoice. I remember looking up and screaming that's a celtic banner before Amy screamed back "It's a Boston bar" lol maybe it was the booze, maybe it was the fact I acquired an awesome feather tiara thing and a rose from a drunk guy but it was pure fun.

Such a sucker for a feather head piece!

4. It was my Birthday and at the time had like 3 friends in all of LA Alex/Pam and Amy. She basically said she'd do whatever I wanted. After the Edison was closed for a private party we decided on a jazz bar and burlesque themed place. However on the way I heard the sounds of my favorite British phenomenon -THE BEATLES there were Asian men as this Beatles tribute band! Fate intervened and I found myself singing Beatles in a state of pure joy. At midnight this kid Michael I went up and sang the Beatle's Birthday song (it was his birthday too) I was on cloud 9 is was so awesome. My shoes ended up in the rain overnight but let's not get to into detail....
Posing like a true starlet!

5. Kerri boss's apartment was throwing an event to raise money for clean drinking water. It was hosted my Michael Welch (FROM TWILIGHT) and there was free booze. There was publicity and one of those promotion backdrops. An hour in I was drink explaining to Michal the poverty I saw in Jamaica and how he should come to cabo with us. At cabo I spent hours flirting with a guy who looked like Jason Schwartzman (it was not JS) drank a margarita I don't remember. The stumbled down Hollywood BLVD looking at the walk of fame stars and just being happy to be there..

 6. It was finally hot enough to go to the beach in a bathing suit although after going in the ocean a sweatshirt seemed necessary. It was sunny and  I was with a bunch of girls just chilling. Eventually they all left and I watched the sun set over the water it was my first LA beach sunset and I took like a gazillion pictures writing I <3 socal in the sand (see blog cover photo). I had watched the sunset everyday on my trip to LA and now I was here at the end of the US, the most West I could be, watching the sunset feet in the sand, hair blowing in the wind, camera in hand- I was happy.

7. Lianne invited me to hang out one night so I popped over after work. Since the first day I moved here I had always heard about Koreatown karaoke- that it was insane and fun. I super <3 karaoke but first we went to a speakeasy with a secret password to get in. It was soo dark you hit things until your eyes adjusted. I met new people and had a blast. Afterwards we went to Brass Monkey to sing and it was a HOT MESS in the best way imaginable. You can really do pretty much anything here.

8. Throughout the summer the Hollywood Forever Cemetery shows movie against one of the mosalium walls. Pam and I tried planning to go but I always seemed to be working. When Dirty Dancing came on the roster I specifically begged my manager for the day off. It was so fun the crowd all huddled together under the 5 visible LA stars. It's so fun to experience a movie with hundreds of people like a premier night for a super hero movie but here were fans of a good love story. At one point a shooting star flew right over the wall and I made a very sincere wish about my future...it was an amazing experience. The graves were really bizarre but that night made me believe in love for a moment again.

9. My job at the store was always meant to be a temporary thing. The hours are so random that it never allowed me time to really audition and live a "normal" life. How I came to get my new job is an epic story in and of itself but when I got a call from the Director of the counseling center I knew it had the potential to give me a better life here. I was in my car when I heard the official "I would like to offer you the position as the evening client coordinator etc etc" I bounced my feet and did a little dance. This job would allow me to audition during the day, it paid better, and it would be around people trying to help people not manipulate them...I was overjoyed.

10. My Buddhist practice was the backbone of my survival throughout the year and my best friend when there was no one else to confide in. A few days after finding about my new job I was invited to a study lecture at a famous Jazz composers home. A) the home is a mansion of sorts with art, plants, and treasure from around the world - not to mention an view of LA that takes your breath away. B) The meeting was about overcoming struggle and perseverance. I cried the entire time but in away that was so cathartic and healing. I had done it- I survived a year - I succeeded in living a life in one of the worlds hardest cities. When I chanted for the dead I was overcome with a feeling that my mother was proud of me but more importantly I was proud of myself. I was happy I live in Los Angeles!

This is what an East Coast girl living and loving Los Angeles looks like!



Sunday, May 20, 2012

Girls in their 20's

So I was told I would like the new HBO Show Girls but it's almost too much like my life to be interesting...however it has introduced me to some good music and I enjoy that not all the girls are super thin and traditionally pretty. The thing about your 20's is of course you are broke because well who knows what they actually want to be doing and if you do it's most likely out of reach. You are also bound to fall for the shitest guys you can find ya know the one who uses you and never calls I think maybe by 30 we'll get over this one. There's also that nagging feeling of shouldn't I be further along then I am at this point? but the truth is not really you are still young and have years to figure stuff out. I also think it's a time to learn from your mistakes and to make mistakes because hell if your doing the same damn thing at 40 it's kind of pathetic. Basically the show just confirms everything I already know/experience as a girl in my 20's. One of the songs on the show has the following lyrics:
(BTW the girl singer's name is Shannon)
 I make the same mistakes
 Feels like I never learn
 Always give way too much
 For little in return
 I haven't changed a bit
 I’m still not over it
 I make the same mistakes
 I make the same mistakes
 Listen to it here: If you read my blog you know one of my current goals is to stop making the same mistakes JBRown pointed out maybe I should stop falling for people that have no interest in dating me (Point JBrown)so what if my favorite guy at work happens to have a live in girlfriend he nicknamed me Massachusetts lol and my other super hot coworker pulled an elaborate prank on me today sure he drives 3 hours to visit his girl whatever but I'm learning I swear I'm learning! The broke factor well I don't have that figured out in the slightest either. However I do know what I want to be doing so I just have to work harder on the steps to get there. Dear Girls show writer also the main character (2nd point JBrown) you should write me as the 5th eccentric LA girl who brings in the sunny optimistic perspective!~S~

Sunday, May 6, 2012

Pleased by Postcards

Today I received an unexpected postcard from Craig, a friend traveling all over the East, and I was ecstatic. This one came on the coattails of a postcard I received last week from Indonesia... which arrived 2 weeks after my coworker had come back :) I remember asking my mom once on our yearly trip to Hampton Beach why we didn't send our friends postcards (isn't that what you do on vacation??). She told me by the time we we sent them we would already be home- logical yes but I thought "I love getting postcards so I want to send them!" The art of writing postcards is much like writing love letter- mostly lost. For most people years of getting bills in the mail has pretty much trumped the excitement of getting anything fun via post. However not for me I still love it. Ever since I was kid one of my favorite parts of Christmas was hanging all the cards up around our door posts it looked like a little collection of love from everyone we knew. Over the years I have had the immense fortune to have traveled to many exciting places and in turn have met exciting people who also travel to exciting places. I've learned the best way to get something you want is ask even if seems silly. So I began asking will you send me a postcard? If you were to ever see my face when I get them you'd know it would be worth the trouble sending it. I'm like a little kidding opening up a birthday gift- full of excitement and wonder. Of course I love the message and the picture but I also like the stamps and postage marks making each one unique and special. I have been blessed to have been sent some really amazing ones from all over the world including Iceland, Philippines, Korea, Vinius:Lithuania, Marburg: Germany, Bath& Dunster &Whitby:England, Hollywood:USA (from Conor before I ever moved here), Disneyland:USA, Barcelona: Spain and now added Indonesia and Thailand. A whopping gorgeous 15 postcards not to mention 2 more vintage postcards of Monaco and Paris I picked up in a flea market in Nice with actual messages on them!!! When I was in Liverpool they had a display of postcards John Lennon sent his son in this double sided glass so you could see both sides- since then I've always envisioned an interchangeable coffee table or wall divider made up of these treasured postcards. I'm not sure why they still fascinate me I wonder the same about letters??? Maybe it's the nostalgic aspects of them or the idea that you know someone is thinking of you for even 5 minutes of their day. I'm not sure but all I know is if your traveling I would LOVE to get a postcard from you!!! ~S~

Saturday, May 5, 2012

Selfishness VS Survival

This is what most people think. I think: what can I do to get my needs met?
I would like to pose a a question: when one is in survival mode are you really being selfish or just doing what is necessary to survive? I like many women have spent a good chunk of my time taking care of others and not always myself. I spent an entire year dedicating all my energy to a little amazing girl as her teacher, friend, and advocate. She really loved me unconditionally in a way that was so pure and truthful. She never asked me to devote myself in that way just like kids don't ask parents to give up their wishes in order to get what they want, a trip to Disney vs a trip to Europe for instance. When I was driving to LA I had A LOT of time to think... when your alone in a car with just your thoughts for 8 hours you learn things. One thought that came to mind was that at some point I knew people would feel I left them. For me it was never a question of coming or not coming here it was just a matter of when, I had decided that when I was 16. I haven't been the best supporter of friends since I've been here I actually feel like maybe I have cut people off. I didn't intend any malice but it's just that I only have so much energy and I need to devote that to succeeding and living here. Since everyday is a constant battle to come out the other side alive and well it leaves no time to focus on anything petty. Yes that is a selfish statement but it also is somewhat about self preservation.
S Size Up The Situation (surroundings, physical condition, equipment, & supplies)
U  Use All Your Sensuous, undue haste makes waste
R  Remember Where You Are
V Vanquish Your Fear and Panic
I   Improvise 
V  Value Living
A  Act Like The Natives
L  Live By Your Wits, But For Now, Learn Basic Skills
I am a humanitarian through and through last month I joined a group solely dedicated to being of service to others so I am in no way advocating egocentricity. However I do believe your 20's is about finding out who you are and what is your purpose on this planet. I believe and have always believed that my purpose is to inspire and engage others through my acting. Whenever someone said "oh don't you want a backup plan?" or "do you know most actors are penniless?" it never swayed me in the least. Sure in 10 years from now I may have changed my mind about the whole thing but for now there is nothing that could persuade me to stop trying to be a film actress. I knew the price would come with many sacrifices- missing holidays, major life events, and even the everyday small things amongst close friends. I am trying to find a balance between selfishness and survival and I'm chanting to find that equilibrium.



Monday, April 30, 2012

In 2025 I'll Be...

Today my curious thought while brushing my teeth was where will I be in 2025 and what will I be doing? Why 2025 you ask?? Well that is the estimated year I will have re paid my student loan on a happier note i'll be 38 and be well established in my adulthood. I just finished watching the Masterpiece theater 4 part mini series Any Human Heart which is a book written by an author about a fake author via "his diaries." The Book/Film cover this whole man's life and they really hammer in the continuity and themes ones goes through throughout their life. So I allowed myself a temporary lapse in only focusing on the present to hypothesize about what my future existence will be like in 13 years. I will be an actress hopefully in features but also doing side indie projects where I can act my own script or direct/act like Zach Braft. I hope to have a partner someone who is sharing my life equally and always going on adventures with me. By 2025 I hope I have been to Alaska, Hawaii, Greece, Australia, Germany, and Japan and had my travel journals published into a book. I will have one love song, novel, and poem dedicated to me. I will have the kinds of friends who have been there for me almost 4 decades of my life and remember all the fights and the good times. My family will be even larger because I'm sure by that time all my girls cousins will have several kids. I will be living in one the beach towns out here so I can see the ocean every morning and fall asleep to crashing waves every night. Maybe I'll even be pregnant with one adopted child and a set of twins of my own. My home will be filled with pictures and treasures I have collected from around the world. My bed will have a frame and not be on the floor along with a closet that will contain all of my shoes. I will have inspired people to follow their dream and have entertained them in the process. I would have contributed to society in away that is beneficial and helpful to future generations. I will have lived my days truthfully and gratefully full of appreciation and wonder...sounds good to me 2025 here I come ~S~

Saturday, March 24, 2012

Chanting for Celebrities

I became a Nichiren Buddhist a little over a year ago and 99.9% of the time I chant for meaningful, beneficial, life changing things like pursuing my passion as a film actress. However every once in awhile I let my mind wander to silly less dramatic things. For instance my friend Matt loves Lisa Vanderpump (Housewives of Beverly Hills) and I was instructed to go to her restaurant and meet her. However being on a budget I wasn't about to do that. I reasoned however that if she lives in Beverly Hills she may one day come to the my work. I would chant every once in awhile that one day she would come to my jewelry counter and I could tell her about my friend's epic love for her and then we would call him. I am NOT kidding this is what I would ask the universe for every now then. So I had Matt text me her photo so if she ever came in I could recognize her (I don't watch the show). Yesterday a makeup person came over and asked for my jewelry key I thought this was super weird but ya know it could be his friend or client whatever -so I gave it to him. After a minute or so he calls me over as I walk up I notice it's Lisa Vanderpump now standing in my bay. I ask the guy "Is that that housewife" he replies "Yes! That's why I wanted to help her but I don't know anything about this stuff!" I took a breath and thought  "this is it the moment...it came." The whole process was fine I helped her pick out some dramatic earrings I was trying to stay professional even thought on the inside I was dying- it's not like I care anything about her but I just so badly had wanted to be able to do this one thing for my cherished friend. Once the "business" was concluded I began to say everything I had rehearsed my friend Matt is you biggest fan blah blah blah she then proclaims "Get him on the phone I want to call him." My heart was racing I thought "Fuck we can't even have phones on the floor let alone have one out in the open I could get fired maybe no one will see....I can't pass up this opportunity." She then straightens up slyly smirks and proceeds to leave Matt a voice mail. I can't even recollect what she said I was just soooo in shock. Afterwards I threw my phone in a drawer and prayed no one would come yell at me after all it was a VIP customers request right? we do anything to please right? An hour later I finally got Matt on the phone and he was so ecstatic I was just as happy because I could not believe in all the stores, in all departments, and all the times of day I might not have been there she came to me. That is the power of chanting....Now I think it's time to start chanting for me to meet the amazing Ryan Gosling again ( I stopped because I thought it was to silly! Now it is back on the agenda!) ~S~