The Hidden Clues of OKCupid Dating

Let's be honest it's hard to meet people this day in age. We don't have dance halls where the youth get all dolled up and go to the local community center in hopes of getting asked to dance by "the one". We're too scared to date anyone from work for fear of lawsuits or firing. Just saying "the bar scene" elicits an eye roll and deep sigh. So what is left in this modern world- online dating. Either you love it or you hate it- either way I have heard/lived all the pros and cons. In this digital age it only seems like the "natural" progression of courtship. Throughout my search for love in LA I have gotten my fare share on insane messages from men. I keep the most ridiculous because it amuses me as a sort of social experiment I can show my kids one day "Look what mommy put up with before she found daddy." Just kidding many of the messages I received are too raunchy I dare not even post them here let alone young naive eyes. I also doubt I will have kids and this idea of finding "the one" so that leaves me seeking adventures! Learn from my social experiment and note that the italicized responses after the message are my thoughts not my actual responses because let's be honest I didn't respond to most of these- if I did it's in green.

1. Any mention or reference to "fun" is casual sex I really can't pin point an example where this isn't the case. If you look under the what i'm looking for 100% of the time casual sex is listed. This is also the same kind of guy who write under the top 6 things you can't live without 1.Sex     really come on (insert eye roll)
1a-"hang out" 90% of the time also means sex
Message from SuperDuperSex69 Mar 24, 2013 – 11:54pm
hey there, you're hot, want to hang out and have some fun? 
Can we play board games- I love board games they are totally fun!
Message from Hangingout06 Jan 6, 2013 – 12:00pm
One night of fun lol
Only one night- not a whole lifetime?This isn't forever?

 2.  Nothing is subtle in an online dating profile. You describe exactly what you are like, your interests, the type of person you want to be with etc The reality is most people just look at your photos find one common show or interest and say some random thing in a message. The tango of seduction that happens in the realm outside the profile window is a mirage online.
Message from m0nm Apr 25, 2013 – 12:55pm
hello there
You have a striking resemblance to the girl I lost my virginity to. I'm willing to make the same mistake twice, if ya know what im sayin
Ya I think it's actually pretty clear dude but thanks for the compliment (is that a compliment??)...

3. Persistence is not cute-when it's online it's called cyber stalking. It's not real life where someone can "grow on you" over time as you get to know them more and fall for their little quirks. If someone does not respond they are not interested if you REALLY think there could be something amazing there a second message is okay. Realize however you're then playing your dignity against chance but it may work out so take the gamble if you dare. Note in the following example the change of tactic, time span of these messages, and increasing lack of subtlety (see clue 2)
Message from ClarkNY Apr 14, 2013 – 10:45am
You are ravshing!I am intrigued by your profile! very romantic! buy you a cup of joe? clark

Apr 15, 2013 – 9:06am
you are simply ravishing! buy you a cup of joe or a drink?clark
 
May 2, 2013 – 12:57pm
killer profile!! entertaining .. Informative and shoot milk out of my nose hysterical ..
you have me curious.. clark

May 4, 2013 – 12:05pm
nice profile .. Easy on the eyes..
check me out .... Meet tonight ?
After message 2 and looking at my profile like once a day every day I did write "I'm not interested" he responded "why not" one month later he came back-dude do you think I wouldn't realize - he was also much older
The internet is not real life so don't act like it.

4 Don't claim to "know" something about the depth of some one's human soul by reading 4 perfectly edited paragraphs about them also from their own self perspective which is of course glowing.
Message from incububs Feb 11, 2013 – 2:02am
I want to know you. You seem like someone worth knowing. Every day I feel like I’m surrounded by people with hard edges and sour faces but I get the sense that you’re different. Too often people seem to think that they have the answers to everything. Their faces are trapped in permascowls and they can’t be bothered with anything besides their own narcissism. You aren’t like that.
I'm so glad my profile shows you such a deep understanding of who I am... for all you know I could be working a catfish angel and be a man in China with some cute girl from LA's photos....(this is done way more then I care to acknowledge have you seen catfish them people are cra cra)

5. Leading with a negative is never a good idea or your drug use/boozing. Why would you want to show someone your faults/bad attitude/ negativity before even saying hi? Of course I'm from the positive thinking realm of Buddhism but really positive attracts more positive and you want a date right? Here are numerous examples of this starting with a negative....
Message from CallMeBigCountry May 6, 2013 – 11:17pm
So for the fact that no one responds to my messages on here, I am going to save all the cheesy pick up lines and things like that  I am a music artist looking for friends out in the LA/Venice Beach area. I am pretty much the best music artist (link removed)That's a link to my music, check it out, and go through a few, cause I guarantee at least 1 will be awesome to you, I got songs in many different genres If you ever want to just chill and smoke on the beach with the coolest homeless music artist you have ever met, hit me up

Message from DavisAggie
You have really pretty Fun Loving Irish baby blue eyes. In contrast, mine are Soul-sucking joyless adulthood Asian brown. You can probably out drink me too...

Message from mrtnz1 May 31, 2013 – 3:10am
Hi I'm jorge... What do you dislike most about the dating process?

Message from Eskwire11 Jun 23, 2013 – 4:50am
Did u just view my profile and not say hi?? Big mistake lady... Biiiiiig mistake!!

Jun 23, 2013 – 11:36am
are you quoting pretty woman?!? lol

Jun 23, 2013 – 11:38am
Lol nope. But I did like that movie.. So it may have had an effect :) what u doin? I'm confused as to why we aren't dating.. It's a travesty
 That is a pretty women quote so now you're plagiarizing and criticizing me for not messaging you yes that is a winning combo for romance!

So let's recap here first of all everyone likes sex so there is nothing charming about straight up asking for it. The girls who want that kind of "relationship" make it pretty obvious on their profiles. I do appreciate that you are being truthful one guy said to me "I really just want a passionate threesome" which I respected and declined. You want to be original and focus on the awesome things you have that make unique and stand out. Remember NO means NO not let me insult you while sending you 5 more messages. Save the fun of getting to know the person for the actual date and be a gentleman/lady there will be plenty of time in the future to let that dark side out to play!  

Truth VS Seduction

 " I want this music and this dawn and the warmth of your cheek against mine" Rumi

       So I am reading this truly amazing book called if the Buddha dated: Finding love on a spiritual path. The book contains rumi quotes, Buddhist principles, and the concepts of loving kindness mashes it all together and bam your romantic views are changing. The main idea is Truth- Truth to you and what you are feeling and openness to all sides of yourself and the other person. That all sounds pretty frickin stellar to me. However it generally directly clashes with everything we are raised and programmed to believe since birth.
          For the past 2 years I have been on a path of self reliance and independence. I knew I would never be able to be in a strong stable relationship till I knew I could 100% care for myself and live joyously completely alone. "More then anything else, I want myself. I want to live with integrity and truth. I am not going to hide the jewel of who I am, nor will I mask my imperfections" (6). I became financially independent paying all my own bills and found ways to truly love myself when it's just me alone in my room thinking. It was hard work but essential to find my own unique standard that I want for my life.
       The problem then is finding the person who can fit into this life we have created. "Too often, we try to mold people into what we want them to be rather then honoring them as they are" (11). I am so beyond guilty of this- your trying to warp the person which never works... you either love all of someone or you don't really love them at all. Their light and their dark and all the grey in between bits. If you are uniquely you and they are uniquely them and together you uniquely match then everything finds it's harmony. Easy peasy right???
     The opposite of this idea of truth and open communication is mind manipulation and the art of Art of Seduction. The premise being that people fit into categories and you can easily get the result you would like by doing certain key things depending on what the person secretly desires for instance play the Coquette. They "are the grand masters of the game, orchestrating a back-and-forth movement between hope and frustration. They bait with the promise of reward the hope of physical pleasure, happiness, fame by association, power all of which, however, proves elusive; yet this only makes their targets pursue them the more. Imitate the alternating heat and coolness of the Coquette and you will keep the seduced at your heels." Wow not only does it explain "the type" it tells you more or less how to do it. 

       Think of Barney's playbook from How I Met Your Mother and you got a pretty good idea of what the book would look like played out in the real world with maybe a little more subtly because after all subtle suggestion is key to a seduction. An innocent example: I was new at my job and I new counselors were suppose to write no show receipts for their clients if they did not show up for their session. Knowing I needed Person A to write one but afraid to demand things on day 1 when he said "I can't believe my client didn't show!" I responded sweetly "isn't there something you need to do when that happens?" I looked over in his direction. "Ya write a receipt" he remarked I smiled "oh, oh! I see what you're doing there sneaky. well aren't you the queen of subtle suggestion." Yes, yes I am.
   The thing about playing little mind games is that there is no "truth" what so ever... except the truth that people are very mailable to being drawn in, persuaded, and seduced in general. Think of any major women in history or any great man and there was someone at their side whispering many ideas into their ears. Ya know what they say-behind every great man there's an ever greater woman and that's because one person in the relationship is always going to be one whose a little bit better as getting what they want. Games games games the book says “Desire is both imitative (we like what others like) and competitive (we want to take away from others what they have). As children, we wanted to monopolize the attention of a parent, to draw it away from other siblings. This sense of rivalry... makes people compete for the attention.”  So manipulation, games, and competition....damn that seems like a lot of work. It does "work" it really can (proof not discussed on the internet) but is that the kind of relationship you really want?
     So what appeals to you more truth or seduction???? Either way I got an amazing book that can lead you down the right path. Personally I'm torn I think one day when there is one person who I can truly trust and open up to and they in turn are willing and ready I will be all about truth. However now in LA when I'm looking for something more fun you may catch me in a small little flirtation that involves a small degree of manipulation- maybe.... i'm not admitting to anything!     ;)

Chemistry VS Attraction

So the past few months I have pondering the idea of chemistry vs attraction when it comes to dating. I go back in forth in my head about the difference and similarities and basically what makes you want to date, sleep with, or marry someone. Let's start with some definitions....

at·trac·tion

[uh-trak-shuhn] noun

1. the act, power, or property of attracting.

2.attractive quality; magnetic charm; fascination; allurement; enticement: the subtle attraction of her strange personality.

3.a person or thing that draws, attracts, allures, or entices: The main attraction was the after-dinner speaker.

4.a characteristic or quality that provides pleasure; attractive feature: The chief attractions of the evening were the good drinks and witty conversation.

5.Physics. the electric or magnetic force that acts between oppositely charged bodies, tending to draw them together.

 

chem·is·try

[kem-uh-stree] noun, plural chem·is·tries.

1. the science that deals with the composition and properties of substances and various elementary forms of matter. Compare element (  def 2 ) .

2. chemical properties, reactions, phenomena, etc.: the chemistry of carbon.

3.the interaction of one personality with another: The chemistry between him and his boss was all wrong.

4.sympathetic understanding; rapport: the astonishing chemistry between the actors.

5. any or all of the elements that make up something: the chemistry of love. 

 

So by definition from a science perspective attraction is what happens when there is chemistry already present. Can the same apply for dating? 

 

     Let's take actors for example... they are attractive (well most of them) and they essentially get paid to have the kind of personality that draws people into watching them. When you meet said actor in real life would there even be chemistry or just a really strong attraction to them. When I've flirted with hot celebrities over the past 2 (almost 2) years here in LA I become puddy. I say stupid stuff, I smile a lot, and generally my sentences leave something to be desired. I feel attraction and chemistry but who knows that is going on in their head/body/heart! Is that chemistry or just a simple physical attraction?

 

     Let's now do the opposite lets say you have a really great re pore with someone who is your "friend." You laugh, share secrets, and have an amazing time in each others company but one or both parties is not attracted to the other. The chemistry of the relationship is %100 there so why are you not mutually attracted? This is one thing I still can't really wrap my head around because something is there and if it's not "attraction" what is it?

 

UPDATE: * TYPES OF BONDING: *as read in If the Buddha Dated

1. Physical/material

2. Intellect

3. Interests 

4. Values/lifestyle

5. Psychological/emotional

6. Creativity/passion

7. Spirituality

8. Essence

 

Can you really truly have chemistry without attraction or be attracted to someone without having real chemistry going on between the two of you?   

 

    My entire romantic history has in one way or another revolved around this very idea it wasn't until this week have I been able to fully grasp that they can indeed be mutually exclusive. You can really want to sleep with someone who you have 0 chemistry with. You can also have great chemistry that doesn't always have to be a precursor for attraction. It can be, oh trust me, it really can be but one does not always create the other. An example being someone who you get along great with of the sex you are not attracted to- a friendship chemistry.  I've come to realize what I want is the full package I want someone where together we have both. I have people who are strongly in one camp in my mind I toy with this idea of "could we have more of X?." The answer is apparently no we are just what we are. Do I think both chemistry and attraction can grow from nothing to epic- ya I certainly do. The biggest obstacle to attraction and love is indifference. 

     

       Now to go one level deeper if you have chemistry and are attracted to each other and NOTHING happens what is going on then? Is something holding back the relationship from progressing like fear or uncertainty?  I'm still learning to tell the difference between friendship and romantic chemistry. As well as the difference between physical attraction and maybe mental attraction... for me intelligence can give psychical a strong boost, Intelligence=Sexy! I keep reminding myself the world is not black and white- it is many MANY shades of grey. Will I look back and regret any of these encounters when i'm 101???  NO because I have learned something from everybody who has come into my life. Now I just need to find that person where we are equally attracted and the romantic chemistry is unmistakable! 

 

Science words that have a double relationship meeting..... bonds, cohesion,symbiosis, electric, connection, stimulus, and of course chemistry/attraction -did you even learn anything from this blog ?!?!? :)

 

This graphic is really really amusing to me

 

Sorta Syndrome

Sorta Syndrome- that moment in a potentially romantic relationship when both parties aren't really sure where they stand and neither will comment/commit so it becomes the epically ambiguous, sorta syndrome.

This week it has become abundantly clear that I continuously get in these sorta relationships ALL OF THE TIME. When straight up asking my high school crush if he ever liked me his ingenious response was "sorta" at this pivotal confessional moment years and years of "sorta moments" all came clicking into place.

        I think in our minds it is like the movies when two people meet they exchange some sexy glances, partake in some witty banter, and somewhere in their hearts they just "know." Not just in a "i'm physically attracted to you way" but in a solid way of "yes we both are equally into each other." I personally have never know if anyone likes me, ever.  I only get an answer if I initiate and do the asking. The response is NEVER "yes I am so into you let's do this." I'm not sure humans are even capable of being that open and honest! Here are a few examples of common sorta syndrome scenarios:

1) I do love you but.... basically I care about you I know we're great together but I don't want to be with you as a couple.

2) Were such good friends I don't want to mess up what we already have.

3) Deny Deny Deny- I am in complete denial about how I actually feel. I'm too scared/overwhelmed/excited (insert appropriate adjective here) to even consider dating you.

4) We're already great companions why do we have to label anything can't we just leave good enough alone?


       I think part of it comes from knowing what you want. What are you looking for in a future partner? What are you own goals and ambitions and can this person help you be the best person you can be to achieve that? I tend to have very strong opinions about what I want and don't so there are very few things I'm unsure about- the way men feel about me is probably the only one. I just want to shout from the top of my lungs "DO YOU LIKE ME ?!?!?!" My roommate informed me the lack of an answer is an answer. The entire book He's just not that into you is about this but is it that simple?
        For me there are always questions and I can get very in my head about what is happening. I doubt everything now because when I was younger I grossly romanticized and protected my self through false ideas. I learned that my interpretations of what were going on and what were actually going on were two totally different realities. Then I met someone and thought surely they are as connected to me as I to them- they weren't. After that I dated someone who was physically connected to me but still detached mentally. I was left wondering- is that all there is (insert musical notes here)?????
        Now I'm 26 having the exact same conversation I have had so many times before. When a person looks at you and says "sorta" does that actually mean "no" or just "i'm not sure"? Either way it does not mean "YES" I'm still trying to figure all this out but I do know I want a man to look at me and when asked "Do you want to date me?" there response would be an overwhelming "HELL YES!"I am not even sure such a thing exists but I do know I don't want to settle for a life stuck in sorta syndrome. I am awesome, strong, and I look really cute even without makeup. I, like every women, deserves someone who sees every aspect of their personality the good and the bad and loves them all. He thinks “All the girls in the world were divided into two classes: one class included all the girls in the world except her, and they had all the usual human feelings and were very ordinary girls; while the other class -herself alone- had no weaknesses and was superior to all humanity.”
― Leo Tolstoy, Anna Karenina
Or for a more modern twist: "Want you to make me feel like I'm the only girl in the world Like I'm the only one that you'll ever love Like I'm the only one who knows your heart Only girl in the world..."  RIHANNA - ONLY GIRL

See I'm the kind of girl who can quote Tolstoy and Rihanna and somehow make that work- i'm cool- who wouldn't want to say "HELL YES" to dating me ?!?! :)

100 Blogs 100 Loves

I Love this Lame Graphic!

So this my 100th Blog- what to do with such a momentous event? I wanted to say something worthy of such a ranking but could only come back to the word love. I've often written about my experiences with people in regards to love but I'm going to write about what I love. Me as one person living my life and what matters to me excluding people (because obviously I LOVE you!).
Written in non ranking order:
1) Acting
2) Everything Irish
3) Flirting
4) The Ocean
5) Animals
6) Soft Sheets
7) Buddhism
8) Mountians
9) My Camera
10) Sunshine
11) Pilates
12) Peanut Butter
13) Jane Austen
14) Colors
15) Rock N Roll
16) Drive in Movie Theaters
17) Photo Booth Pictures
18) Adventures
19) Paris
20) Red Lipstick
21) The Sound of Rain
22) Blue Eyes
23) Humming
24) Dreams
25) Feathers
26) Sunflowers
27) Cranes
28) Psychology
29) Roller Coasters
30) French
31) Regency Era
32) Retro Styles
33) 20's music
34) Sunsets
35) British Mini Series
36) Boston
37) Doctor Who
38) The Beatles
39) Doing Shots
40) Fashion
41) Scarfs
42) Northampton
43) Road Trips
44) Postcards
45) Fans
46) Yearbooks
47) Romance
48) My Prom Queen Tiara
49) Spoon Ring
50) Sea Otters
51) Love Letters
52) Surprises
53) Swimming
54) Bananas
55) Collecting things
56) Scarpebooking
57) Painting
58) Teaching
59) Making Movies
60) Laughing till you cry
61) High Heels
62) The Hollywood Sign
63)  Secrets
64) Cosmopolitans
65) Grace Kelly
66) The Little Rock
67) My Cali License Plates
68) CIder Donuts
69) The Summit House
70) RENT the Musical not my bills
71) Skype
72) Lavender Lotion
73) Quirky Acessories
74) Hitting Snooze
75) My MAC
76) Giving Advice
77) Horoscopes
78) Mall Pretzels
79) Van Gogh Paintings
80) Elaborate Gardens
81) Articture
82) Live Jazz
83) Making Out
84) Campfires
85)  National Parks
86) Succulatns
87) Mocassins
88) Cashmire
89) Hot Tubs
90) Reading
91) Supporting Causes
92) Free Parking
93) Butterflies
94) Playing Bejewled
95) Telling Stories
96) Getting Unexpected Gifts
97) Netflix
98) Nature Walks
99) Drunk Dancing
100) Love
Can I use Love in a list about things I love? Sure it's my blog and I love to make my own rules... I also love to break rules too :) ~S~

A Few Good Men

So after pondering my day filled with much flirting... I've come to realize I am a shameless flirt.....also more importantly that a women really needs a good man around not just one but several.
1) The Potential Boyfriend: This is a guy you interact with every so often and every time it's electrifying. You tend to find ways to "bump" into them or try and spend more time in there general vicinity (come on don't lie to yourself you have done this). My current potential is yoga/counselor and after we interact I have that giddy butterfly feeling. There's a mix of hope and intrigue that creates a dynamic combo of excitement. Where will it lead??? who knows! and you like it.
2) The Guy Who Makes You Feel Sexy: There's this ongoing joke at the center about clients who just ooze this sexy tiger like sexy prowess. I laugh even typing it now but there's just something about these individuals that just makes you putty. They know just what to say to make you blush and you feel yourself being drawn even when you KNOW it's all part of their game/manipulation/persona. They know how to woo and every women needs to feel desired sometimes.
3) The Backup: Now don't get me wrong I don't think it's really fair to always keep someone on the back burner if you never have any intention of dating them. I have this friends and we've been "friends" for almost 10 years now. We never really date but when either of us needs a pick me up the other one is there. Could I see something happening with us one day - sure we talk about it often. We blame timing but sure is nice to somewhere could be there if and when you wanted it.
4) The Platonic Friend: Okay okay it is REALLY hard for guys and girls to be friends without somoene falling for the other it's nature. However when you can find that balance there's nothing better then being able to get a male perespective on things. Somone you can go watch sports with or play video games for hours. It also helps that you can wear sweats and keep your hair in a messy bun and neithert party will give a fuck.
5) The One: So there's one guy out there somewhere who is the right guy for you. Maybe he is your friend, makes you feel sexy, etc... but most importantly he's your rock-stability. You can trust him with anything because he knows you better then anyone else. A life partner it not easy to find. First you have to know yourself because the more you know about what you want the better chance you have of finding it. Some people rush the whole process because they just want the finish line moment of a wedding and kids. I would rather wait 50 years to find the one person who will get me then rush anything because I don't want to be alone.
How many men do you think a girl needs in her life?
I'd also like to share this accurate/hilarious article How to Woo a Girl: http://www.wikihow.com/Woo-a-Girl

One Year in LA Celebration

Vintage Heaven!

         So it seemed only fitting that after the Edison was closed on my birthday that it would be the perfect spot to honor my one surviving life in one of America's hardest cities- Los Angeles. In my mind I envisioned a day off frolicking around the city just appreciating it then some booze fest at night. Then I was denied the day of work so literally worked 9:30 to 6 ran home, dashed around, and fancied up. Not to mention I had to open up the counseling center at 8:30 am the next morning....(warning recipe for disaster). Some friends met at mine for dinner at my favorite local burger place and wine. We drove to the Edison which is Downtown (always a little ominous) and upon entry I was ecstatic. It could of been 1922 for all I was concerned. I was a little bummed that they shut off the vintage music and were now playing indie pop I guess?!??! We made it just in time to watch an ariel show :) I ordered The Mistress it seemed fitting. The night proceeded just like most others at a bar would. I was stopped several times and complimented on my feather and outfit. I adored the old machinery and random 20's artifacts they had scattered about the place. Eventually they opened up this private room and we went a bit picture crazy it was everything I imagined. Crystal convinced me into a round of truth or dare her favorite bar time activity. That resulted in me meeting a group of guy one which I somehow convinced to dance to "Be My Baby" as i twirled around in my flowly dress I was overjoyed. It may have been the absinthe or the fact I was so proud for having made it a year but I felt exhilarated. Afterwards we ended up in this cigar shop playing chess with checkers pieces. My big toes were blistered on 3 sides but it was worth it. I'm so happy the ladies were there to share it with me! As I literally rolled out of bed at 7:40 the next morning a mere 4 hours of rest I had no regrets.. I survived it all and celebrated in style- what more could a girl ask for?

Cheers to One Year in LA!!!

Love Letters: The Most Romantic Thing in the World

     Ever since I was little I have had a fascination with letters. I remember being taught how to write a formal letter in school and I was so excited! I was even more excited when it came time to learn cursive. Now at the ripe age of 25  I've realized that cursive writing and especially letter writing are a lost art form.  I think letters have a way of communicating ideas and feelings that an email can just not completely convey. When I was backpacking in Europe I wrote letters to my friends back home and it was actually fun not to mention the excitement of actually receiving a letter in the mail! Men make a mental note this can also be quite romantic... so next time your considering sending and email think about maybe sending a letter to the girl you like- she will adore it... trust me.
       One of my favorite books The Guernsey Literary and Potato Peel Pie Society is written as letters. There just something about writing one that gives you a feeling of openness like you can say what you really feel.  I am notorious for writing letters when there is something that I really need to say but can't seem to say face to face. Persuasion, most likely my favorite book in the world, has one of the most amazing letters ever written:

"I can listen no longer in silence. I must speak to you by such means as are within my reach. You pierce my soul. I am half agony, half hope. Tell me not that I am too late, that such precious feelings are gone for ever. I offer myself to you again with a heart even more your own than when you almost broke it, eight years and a half ago. Dare not say that man forgets sooner than woman, that his love has an earlier death. I have loved none but you. Unjust I may have been, weak and resentful I have been, but never inconstant. You alone have brought me to Bath. For you alone, I think and plan. Have you not seen this? Can you fail to have understood my wishes? I had not waited even these ten days, could I have read your feelings, as I think you must have penetrated mine. I can hardly write. I am every instant hearing something which overpowers me. You sink your voice, but I can distinguish the tones of that voice when they would be lost on others. Too good, too excellent creature! You do us justice, indeed. You do believe that there is true attachment and constancy among men. Believe it to be most fervent, most undeviating, in F. W.

I must go, uncertain of my fate; but I shall return hither, or follow your party, as soon as possible. A word, a look, will be enough to decide whether I enter your father's house this evening or never."

       A scholar write this about the letter http://www.utexas.edu/features/2010/02/08/love_letters/   Another popular love letter is talked about in Sex and the City from Ludwig Van Beethoven to his "Immortal Beloved" which reads :  Good morning, on July 7
Though still in bed, my thoughts go out to you, my Immortal Beloved, now and then joyfully, then sadly, waiting to learn whether or not fate will hear us - I can live only wholly with you or not at all - Yes, I am resolved to wander so long away from you until I can fly to your arms and say that I am really at home with you, and can send my soul enwrapped in you into the land of spirits - Yes, unhappily it must be so - You will be the more contained since you know my fidelity to you. No one else can ever possess my heart - never - never - Oh God, why must one be parted from one whom one so loves. And yet my life in V is now a wretched life - Your love makes me at once the happiest and the unhappiest of men - At my age I need a steady, quiet life - can that be so in our connection? My angel, I have just been told that the mailcoach goes every day - therefore I must close at once so that you may receive the letter at once - Be calm, only by a calm consideration of our existence can we achieve our purpose to live together - Be calm - love me - today - yesterday - what tearful longings for you - you - you - my life - my all - farewell. Oh continue to love me - never misjudge the most faithful heart of your beloved.
ever thine
ever mine
ever ours
From Jane Eyre this quote makes me cry:

"I sometimes have a queer feeling with regard to you - especially when you are near me, as now: it is as if I had a string somewhere under my left ribs, tightly and inextricably knotted to a similar string situated in the corresponding quarter of your little frame. And if that boisterous channel, and two hundred miles or so of land some broad between us, I am afraid that cord of communion will be snapt; and then I've a nervous notion I should take to bleeding inwardly. As for you, - you'd forget me.”

If you are a girl I am sure your heart must have melted by now but in this day in age can so much lovely sentiments really be appreciated for it's beauty? Watch this more modern love story here: http://news.yahoo.com/blogs/sideshow/love-letter-finally-delivered-60-years-first-written-165305864.html?fb_action_ids=833708419975&fb_action_types=news.reads&fb_source=other_multiline&code=AQDs5OfLwWojenSg-RuINKuqklYSBBdz_6KQGNOBo7nFdkrbSjyOSzIF9sN3205m3zz0x7wFyB-ZhDwgkVIdC4m4Gl3w4_2E_OIohtvwaH53dODCccrGeWizNIk8SOzH-bO9m7SkJvzLNk2oRanpoKJ194r7ePp1RQvjGdTNWTX11LWWn1xxQI28c-xFLDHQtTA# 
In closing I must say throughout time the love letter is still the most romantic thing in the world and if you ever are lucky enough to receive one be thankful you got one of the good ones ~S~    

Do you ever grow out of drunk texting?

My face should be on this graphic

So ever since I entered college I have been a notorious drunk texter. All girls do it.... it's like the alcohol makes us feel like we can say/ask what we actually want to. Now I am a pretty much an open book when it come to being honest and saying what I want to. However there is something about having 2 glasses of wine that happens to make your lips and fingers a bit looser! Now I am young (relatively) so I feel like this is a somewhat typical behavior but what if I was older... I have a feeling I may be dating when im 50- do you think I will still send drunk texts (more likely technology will be so advanced it may be like a drunk voice/image simulation message) or will I grow out of doing this? It always seems like a really good idea at the time and then the next morning like a really stupid one. Why do girls put themselves through these self destructive mind games? Is it lack of confidence?The need to feel loved/desired/wanted? Out of boredom? The desire to feel connected to someone even for a minute? I tried to stop myself by removing all the numbers of boys I ever fancied out of my phone the mistake being keeping them in a place where if sober enough I can find them! It's a hard habit to break....
this chick feels the same http://hotmessguide.wordpress.com/2011/06/28/the-hot-mess-guide-to-realizing-you-drunk-text-ambushed-someone-while-they-were-sleeping-the-night-before-and-theyre-kind-of-upset-at-you/