What a Dick Pic Means to Me

*There are two dick pics in this post- you've been warned         

     To me a dick is just like looking at any other part of the body a knee, left ear lobe, pinkie finger. But Shannon you'll say there is a sexual element to this body part. Suuuure I'll agree to that certain dicks may illicit that kind of response. However when I get woken up by the ding of my phone and see that it's a guy I've been chatting to only to open it and reveal a fully erect penis... I'm not happy- I'm not attracted to it, I don't want to see it , and my personal bubble of safety feels intruded upon. There are scenarios when that might not be the case mostly when I've know a person for a long time and there dick means something to me.

Yep- this is probably the most cliche girl thing I will ever write but only when I have an emotional attachment to the person the dick is attached to is it something I want to see. Call me crazy but random dicks DO NOT TURN ME ON. So now that we've covered my opinion let's discuss why men feel the need to send dick pics- let's hypothesize
A- they think it turns us on
B-they get off on someone seeing it with out the judgment of it being a real encounter
C- that ego
D- asserting a dominating element "you will see this whether you want to or not"
Here's some comments from actual men about this phenomena:
Glamour- Why dudes send dick picks ( In their words)

Funny Story:
I give a guy my number (in reality I accidentally give him my sister's number I end in 42 she ends in 43). Side note: my sister and I have done this at least 4 times now we never mean to but it always turns out pretty funny. I get a text "Hey, I just text you sister glad I didn't open with a dick pic." I wrote back something like "haha good thing you didn't" to which he responded "so.....no dick pic then?" It was hilarious when I thought he was playing on the stupidity of this absurd trend but it was annoying as fuck when I realized he really meant it.

The Burning Question on my Mind:
When did this all start like approximately circa 2007 maybe ?!?! I got my first at 19 and it was shocking then like I was blown away - now it seems common place. It's so common place in fact this girl a self proclaimed "dick critic" wrote an article about how to take a good one... which I appreciate because number 10 is this (which should be number one) "Make sure you’re meeting bare minimum standards of human decency by only sending dick pics to people who’ve consented to see them." 10-dos-donts-of-dick-pics If you feel brave (I really mean that) you can see her critiquemydickpic.tumblr where she grades and critiques submissions all with senders full permission so "nothing untoward" about that minus a lot a lot of penis.  This one I just have to share from a man about to go to jail..... I laughed out loud for a solid minute

I also chuckled when I changed the "format size" from medium to extra large to make the text and picture more readable- S.C

 On a personal note this tumblr made me realize all my sexual encounters have had really nice dicks something I didn't know I should be grateful for until viewing this account. Momentary pause to hope none of them are reading this and the sigh of relief realizing none of them ever will. But if this blog does find any of you pat yourself on the back you're dick was great.

Another example:
Aziz Ansari in his comedy special does a funny bit on the commonality of the trend.
Another big chunk of Buried Alive is about the strangeness of dick pics. Why did you choose to make it such a sizable segment in the special?
I was just talking about how dumb guys are nowadays, and the idea that people are sending dick pics – it's so crazy to me. When I started asking audiences, "Clap if you're a single woman and a guy sent you a dick pic," I was very surprised. What percentage would you think would get a dick pic? I would guess 40 percent. But it seemed like every city I went to, it was at least 80 percent. And that was startling, that such a high percentage of them had something that absurd happen to them. It seems like such a dumb thing. I say this in the special, but I just don't understand the logic behind it. A dick is a very dumb-looking, boring thing. Excerpt for Village Voice

This is real life:
Do you really think I could write an article and not include a photo?!? This is THE BEST/WORST dick pic I've ever received and the count is probably near 20 at this point. I believe this man called it "mighty cock" or some such heroic name really the possibilities are endless.

Imagining opening up your phone and seeing this... what is your reaction?!? In memory serves me my mouth fell opened then I looked away then I laughed then I looked again to make sure it was really indeed a girl action figure toy on his cock and then I was over it. Sure, because I'm brilliant at that kind if thing, I could have said something witty/sexy in return but the bottom line is there is nothing really sexy about that!

Consent first send second:
What I want to get back to is the UNSOLICITED element of this. If you're in a sexting scenario or a partnership fine by all means divulged in a little fun play when it's open welcome and consented upon. By sending someone out of the blue/randomly/ or as an opener after getting their number it is NOT OKAY! It's sexual harassment plain and simple and yet it goes so wildly unpunished and continues to run rampant I dare say world wide, even though I have no proof of this. Do we let this just keep going on spiraling more and more out of control till we fear every ding of our phones?!? I feel I shouldn't have to be afraid to give out my number or be blamed for giving it out and then in turn getting these photos.

Check out Elite Daily's Video:

Final thoughts:
I just... can't... really I can't. I am all for a mutual expression of sexuality in creative ways when both adults consent to it. I am not for being exposed to sexuality illicit materials when I'm not expecting it or seeking it out even in non dating contexts. You have no right to affront me with that shit and I would never do that to someone else. What offends one person may not another and that really is not a risk I think anyone would want to take in this world of lawsuits but with the decline of common decency that seems to have become void. I think intimate things should be shared with those who you can trust intimately if not it does not belong on my iphone. I'm wrapping this up with one last picture

(eye roll) This is too common for any one's good!

My Ten Best

My French Cafe Ensemble

         I was joking around with my friend Maura that the way through my heart is by complements. I was..... let me re phrase that.... only half joking when I told my friend Maura that the way through my heart is by compliments.That conversation got me thinking- what are the best compliments i've ever received? So since that point when ever I got a really great one i've written them here and now I finally have 10 so bare with me while my less then subtle side shines through. I am an actress after all so I do tend to relish in attention :)

"your hat it reminds me of that prince song and your outfit looks like you've been at lunch at a 1950's Paris Cafe"

"I've never met Patty but I know her daughter very well and I feel like through Shannon I know Patty"

"your painting looks like a Van Gogh"

"You're always so well accessorized and have such a great smile and so kind. The highlight of my week is seeing you"

Vargas's Painting of Me

"She is like the Beyonce of SCCC she's got all the personality and all the pizazz she doesn't need anyone else"

"I love your blog it's so inspiring"

"I've been dreaming about how to paint those eyes all week"

"You look like you stepped right out of the pages of The Great Gatsby novel and into the modern world"

"Shannon has the most creative imagination"


In regards to my Joan Harris Halloween costume: "I LOVE you for this for so many reasons. P.s. your dress is actually better AND you look better haha" 

         In this crazy world we barely ever take the time to acknowledge one another and it's even rarer to have someone genuinely see you and give you a truly honest heartfelt compliment. I cherish these words because it helps me understand how the people I interact with see me. I feel honored that in my life there are people who are kind and sweet to me and not everyone has that. So here's a challenge when you are going about your day try and notice the people around you maybe their unique style, a work accomplishment, or something about them you've always adored and tell them. I'm sure it will make them happy and you can walk away knowing you made the world a little more beautiful that day. Go! Be Brave! Be Kind! Make Someone's Day!

How we define "SINGLE" women

    

  

       So by definition I am a single women. Not married, no kids, and in nothing even close to resembling a fully committed relationship. I date- have my little dalliances and I am totally content with that. A few weeks ago at the motherless daughters group the group leader was going around noting the major life events each of us were currently undergoing that made us particularly vulnerable to missing our moms> She looks at Girl 1 "You're moving across the country" Girl 2 "You're about to have a baby" Girl 3 "You're engaged and planning a wedding" at this point my mind is reeling with what she is going to say about me. Shannon "and you....you (2 second pause) you have your emotions"she stumbles...... it took everything in my power not to laugh out loud in her face.
      Internally I was thinking okaaay sure if I'm not having a kid/getting hitched etc you have no social structure to define me but come on that's all ya got? Here are some things that could of actually described my current major life scenario "You have created a life surviving independently in this crazy city" or "wow you left everything you ever knew to follow your dream" or even "you run a counseling center that sees and helps hundreds of clients." But no I am the girl with emotions... really????
     It always seems like there are 2 camps of people the married one and the "others" which include people who make a choice not to tie the knot but are in committed partnerships, completely unattached people, and casual daters. I however don't like to label anything or anyone I see people as people with complicated lives and relationships. Sometimes this gets me into trouble because labels in turn create certain boundaries. Take away a boyfriend "label" and then you end up in this random undefined dating experience where introducing someone comes out like "and this is my boy space friend not a boyfriend I mean were (3 second pause)... chilling" Awkward smile awkward blush awkward laugh awkward look at the boy and quick look away- all hypothetically of course.
   There are so many ways to describe someone this post directly relates to my feelings on being called pretty- pretty is the new ugly http://shannontcassidy.blogspot.com/2013/03/pretty-is-new-ugly.html. I am more then pretty and single! I understand that the world as a whole needs to categorize people and tries to fit them into little boxes and I have ALWAYS been an outside of the box kinda gal. You can not define me you can only experience me and believe I am one hell of an awesome experience!

Surprises

So my roomate Pv is the only one with a mail key so often she comes by and just slide our mail under our doors so we see it. Tonight I was just chilling and looked over to see another postcard!! I felt like I got a present. My bridesmaid dress also was in front of my door earlier today so it was a good mail day. I really do LOVE getting mail!!! It does so excite me :)

HOW I almost MET Jason Segel (not your mother)

The Den

It had the makings of a great night...it was Maria's (my favorite co worker and close friend) birthday celebration at the Den in Hollywood. Erica and I were late because well it's LA and you have to look good, and drive far, parking etc.. Needless to say when we finally got in the place it was alive with young adults living it up. Per my usual game plan I did a lap to see if there were any attractive straight men about...after a few minutes I resigned to sitting on the patio next to the fire pit. These 3 drunk guys were repeatedly having this stupid conversation :
Idiot 1: "Jason Segel man"
Idiot 2 : "who is that"
Idiot 3: "ya know the guy from that movie the tall one"
Idiot 2: "From the office"
Idiot 1: "no the one from the movie with that blonde girl"

this went on for several minutes I had to jump in considering they could not actually name a single Jason Segel anything A- HOW I MET YOU MOTHER! B- The Muppets just came out C-Forgetting Sarah Marshall.. the puppet musical!! D- I love you, man all this I could spurt out in 5 seconds. I was not drunk so I did have a bit of an advantage. Either way Idiot 2 still had no clue and the conversation went another direction. 10 minutes later this comes up again when I hear "Damn he's gone now" I ask whose gone? Idiot 1 "Jason Segel" ... picture me mouth agape staring with dagger eyes. I come to find out Jason was at the table one over from the Idiots. He had been there the whole time and I hadn't noticed why cruel god of fate and the universe did I not see him?!?!? What was the point of my lap- maybe I should wear my glasses for the initial intell and then take them off??? boooooo. I began to think what I would say "Hey Jason I think you're fantastic and super funny, not to mention tall which is super sexy, do you like fries? I have some fries we could share, do you date civilians? do you want to date me? did I mention I think you're super sexy and funny...just saying" I imagine it would have gone something like that. On a more serious note my plan would have involved falling- it's something I am totally capable of and he's a good guy I'm sure he'd catch me..or I'd fall on my face start bleeding and he'd feel obliged to help. Anyways he was gone and I had wished I could have made had more sense of the drunk Jason ramblings earlier on. I preceded to have fun danced with some Swedish guys and overall had a fantastic evening. Sure a kiss under those white twinklings lights next to the fire pit with Jason's arms around me would have been nice but after that moment my heart said "you'll see him again" so if anyone has any good lines let me know- I'm thinking singing "I would walk 500 miles and I would 500 more just to me the girl who walked a thousand miles to fall down at your door"....that might do the trick.

Love Letters: The Most Romantic Thing in the World

     Ever since I was little I have had a fascination with letters. I remember being taught how to write a formal letter in school and I was so excited! I was even more excited when it came time to learn cursive. Now at the ripe age of 25  I've realized that cursive writing and especially letter writing are a lost art form.  I think letters have a way of communicating ideas and feelings that an email can just not completely convey. When I was backpacking in Europe I wrote letters to my friends back home and it was actually fun not to mention the excitement of actually receiving a letter in the mail! Men make a mental note this can also be quite romantic... so next time your considering sending and email think about maybe sending a letter to the girl you like- she will adore it... trust me.
       One of my favorite books The Guernsey Literary and Potato Peel Pie Society is written as letters. There just something about writing one that gives you a feeling of openness like you can say what you really feel.  I am notorious for writing letters when there is something that I really need to say but can't seem to say face to face. Persuasion, most likely my favorite book in the world, has one of the most amazing letters ever written:

"I can listen no longer in silence. I must speak to you by such means as are within my reach. You pierce my soul. I am half agony, half hope. Tell me not that I am too late, that such precious feelings are gone for ever. I offer myself to you again with a heart even more your own than when you almost broke it, eight years and a half ago. Dare not say that man forgets sooner than woman, that his love has an earlier death. I have loved none but you. Unjust I may have been, weak and resentful I have been, but never inconstant. You alone have brought me to Bath. For you alone, I think and plan. Have you not seen this? Can you fail to have understood my wishes? I had not waited even these ten days, could I have read your feelings, as I think you must have penetrated mine. I can hardly write. I am every instant hearing something which overpowers me. You sink your voice, but I can distinguish the tones of that voice when they would be lost on others. Too good, too excellent creature! You do us justice, indeed. You do believe that there is true attachment and constancy among men. Believe it to be most fervent, most undeviating, in F. W.

I must go, uncertain of my fate; but I shall return hither, or follow your party, as soon as possible. A word, a look, will be enough to decide whether I enter your father's house this evening or never."

       A scholar write this about the letter http://www.utexas.edu/features/2010/02/08/love_letters/   Another popular love letter is talked about in Sex and the City from Ludwig Van Beethoven to his "Immortal Beloved" which reads :  Good morning, on July 7
Though still in bed, my thoughts go out to you, my Immortal Beloved, now and then joyfully, then sadly, waiting to learn whether or not fate will hear us - I can live only wholly with you or not at all - Yes, I am resolved to wander so long away from you until I can fly to your arms and say that I am really at home with you, and can send my soul enwrapped in you into the land of spirits - Yes, unhappily it must be so - You will be the more contained since you know my fidelity to you. No one else can ever possess my heart - never - never - Oh God, why must one be parted from one whom one so loves. And yet my life in V is now a wretched life - Your love makes me at once the happiest and the unhappiest of men - At my age I need a steady, quiet life - can that be so in our connection? My angel, I have just been told that the mailcoach goes every day - therefore I must close at once so that you may receive the letter at once - Be calm, only by a calm consideration of our existence can we achieve our purpose to live together - Be calm - love me - today - yesterday - what tearful longings for you - you - you - my life - my all - farewell. Oh continue to love me - never misjudge the most faithful heart of your beloved.
ever thine
ever mine
ever ours
From Jane Eyre this quote makes me cry:

"I sometimes have a queer feeling with regard to you - especially when you are near me, as now: it is as if I had a string somewhere under my left ribs, tightly and inextricably knotted to a similar string situated in the corresponding quarter of your little frame. And if that boisterous channel, and two hundred miles or so of land some broad between us, I am afraid that cord of communion will be snapt; and then I've a nervous notion I should take to bleeding inwardly. As for you, - you'd forget me.”

If you are a girl I am sure your heart must have melted by now but in this day in age can so much lovely sentiments really be appreciated for it's beauty? Watch this more modern love story here: http://news.yahoo.com/blogs/sideshow/love-letter-finally-delivered-60-years-first-written-165305864.html?fb_action_ids=833708419975&fb_action_types=news.reads&fb_source=other_multiline&code=AQDs5OfLwWojenSg-RuINKuqklYSBBdz_6KQGNOBo7nFdkrbSjyOSzIF9sN3205m3zz0x7wFyB-ZhDwgkVIdC4m4Gl3w4_2E_OIohtvwaH53dODCccrGeWizNIk8SOzH-bO9m7SkJvzLNk2oRanpoKJ194r7ePp1RQvjGdTNWTX11LWWn1xxQI28c-xFLDHQtTA# 
In closing I must say throughout time the love letter is still the most romantic thing in the world and if you ever are lucky enough to receive one be thankful you got one of the good ones ~S~    

Are you Jesus?

So after PV and Kentuckie left for the night I settled in and before I drifted off to sleep I got a text saying they were with the owners of the club getting everything paid for like queens but still no sight of "Jesus." In the early hours of the morning I am woken to Thor barking like a mad dog. I was sooo afraid I thought 'Is there a stranger in the house- is someone here to kill me??' In my dazy haze half awake blind state I walk out of my room and see this crazy black haired creature sitting on my couch I said "Are you Jesus?" the creature remarks "hey." I preceded to calm down Thor and went back to sleep. I found out the next morning I did not meet Jesus....maybe another night.