5 Things I learned this Week

1. I think i'm allergic to wine yet for some reason I keep drinking it anyway.

2. That half the fun in the "seduction" is the waiting and the victory of seeing your plan come to fruition.

3. That I feel a serious lack of protection from the people meant to protect me and therefore I have to become a stronger protector of myself I am becoming an adult after all.  Also once I unfairly designated someone my protector and it was a role they didn't want and again it needs to be my responsibility not someone else's unless they ask to take that on.

4. This is a two fold point on moving on after relationships
          A. A friend says "because you are a dreamer... you think with your heart...   you see the possibilities... and that's why you have me a realist as a best friend" I do I see the potential and what I imagine something to be comapred to what it really is I create delusions and fantasy and sometimes reality is necessary. I will never have something real until I am 100% real with myself first. It is something I have done my whole life and just needed to me reminded of... thank you lucid dreaming and friend for bringing this to my attention.
           B. One of the main reasons I find leaving my job so hard is because I don't have many friends or family here and my coworkers are my family they are the ones who ask me about my day and bring me snacks because i' m broke. Who will I have when I leave? My manager said she will always be my rock if I need it. Therapy with your manager good idea??? bad idea???

5. In a few days I will have been in LA a 3/4 of a year. Where will I be at the one year point? What are the steps I need to take now so that I'm not leaving in a year bummed I never succeeded ( Ps I totally know this won't be the case just emphasizing my point)? If my life truly is here now what elements do I need to make it most successful and that list includes more friends, a hobby, a job, acting.

Surprising Yourself

So I was randomly deleting old computer documents and came across one titled future. Curious and having no idea what it contained I opened it up to find this "One day im going to meet a man and he will be as strong and brave as I am. He will treat me as his equal with love and support always. He may not agree with all my life views but will understand my choices. He will always respect me and honor our commitment to each other. Together we will make a home and a family. We will be partners through life in all it’s struggles and joy." Wow what a statement..it is still exactly how I feel but I don't have any recollection of when I wrote this except I know it was since I moved to LA. I am shocked not only because I don't remember it but also because it seems like such a mature adult perspective and I am kind of proud of that. As my roommate can attest I am diligently trying to set a high standard for what I want and I know I can make it happen and except nothing less.

Sex Panther, VIP, and Grinding with your Boss

Sex Panther is behind that bush I swear!

If you know me I am of the go big or go home philosophy - I may not party often but when I do I make it count. Last Sunday I went a little crazy at a friend's kickball league booze fest where you play all the best drinking games and I participated in my first ever tornado= epic. I even kicked ass at pool with my cute partner proclaiming "That's my girl"....why is that so sexy???? Fast forward to Friday Kish has an interview at this club the Belasco in downtown where afterwards you could invite friends. There really is nothing more amazing then being on a list. Going down a secret alley saying a code name to someone who proceeds to let you in when 2 seconds ago they said "no one comes in this way." Ya I do - why -I'm on the list :) I walked into this AMAZING old theater that now is a club. I was instantly transported back to the first time I ever went to a club when I was 16. It was the dirtiest sketchiest place my naive little  self had ever encountered and I hated it. In general clubs still aren't my thing- give me a good conversation over a glass/pint with live music and I will be much happier. However being in a restricted VIP area with bottle service does have a way of making the whole thing more enjoyable. It was the night Sex Panther was spinning so the club was decked out in random jungle decoration and a giant giraffe. The up-lighting made this old theater look magical and the bass literally was so intense it was making my heart flutter. I think everyone wants to feel special now and again and being VIP certainly fills that need (temporarily). I considered this a warm up for Saturday because I was reminded:

Belasco Up-lighting

1. Clubs are insanely hot wearing pants equates to death
2. The smaller the outfit the more men will hit on you
3. Pre game because damn drink prices (when you're paying) are frickin high 

Balcony overlooking Downtown

In the am I was up super early to go to chant. Then worked till 9:15 On my break I had a makeup artist from Chanel do my makeup and she did a super sexy smokey eye and nude lip look- it was awesome. Lea and I rushed back to get ready, grabbed local burgers from my favorite place (she threw in free fries!), and decided on outfits.  We were ready and few flirty words got us in for free even thought after 11 we were suppose to pay regardless of the fact we were on the list. It was INSANE to see my coworkers outside of work. I found out one colleague was gay, met my friend's husband, saw one girl really drop it like it's hott. We were right across from the staples center and I could see all the XGames trucks packing stuff. Downtown glittered and a cool breeze saved us from the heat. I danced with one of my bosses and it just further proves to me you can usually determine someones generation by the way they dance. My other boss and I were full on dance battling and getting low - crazy. The best part was being with the girls just having fun dancing sexy to hip hop, swaying to salsa, and letting off steam by just rockin the dance floor. Heels that I normally wear for hours killed me... my feet are literally bruised and blistered but it was worth it . I even got down with the birthday boy himself to which he said "You weren't kidding you really do have moves" ahahha yes (espadrille wedge) I do have moves. 3 epic nights in one week was seriously necessary after  the non stop working I have been doing to make up for my trip home and I needed to let loose. I woke up the next morning and thought "wow that was a crazy dream" and then I remembered it wasn't a dream it's just my crazy life.

Manic Monday or Sunday Funday

In the infamous words of the Bangles "It's just another manic Monday I wish it were Sunday
'Cause that's my funday My I don't have to runday It's just another manic Monday ". SOOO this isn't a post about the drollness of Mondays although come on every has to to admit Monday is the shittest day of the week. Instead it's about the feelings we associate with the days of the week.
Most Business weeks start on a Sunday so here we go....

Sunday: Once was a time when you were meant to rest. In some religions that is still a strictly enforced doctrine. However in the modern world it's mostly an excuse for stores to close early when in reality most people have Sunday off so it's a good day to have a store open. It still had the feeling of low key afternoon sipping iced tea or beer reading a paper and laughing. I had Sunday off for the first time in ages and I chanted, read, cleaned, cooked, wrote some blog posts- it was divine!

Monday: I have never in my life ever heard anyone say Monday was their favorite day of the week. Obviously it's the first day back at work for most typical jobs and that usually isn't pleasant unless you work for one of those awesome companies like Pixar.(Side Post: When you join Pixar Animation Studios, you become part of a studio driven by creativity, technical know-how, and a sense of humor to boot. You’ll be working side by side with some of the most brilliant minds in their fields, interspersing your own ideas with theirs to collectively make the best films possible. Taylor Software Engineer "Pixar is not a gloomy cubicle farm like so many companies (seen Office Space?) but a bright, happy place full of well adjusted people"). If you work at Pixar I am seriously jealous!

Tuesday: What can one say about Tuesday?? Well it's not as bad as Monday it's like the 2nd step sister in Cinderella still not good but not at bad as the mean one. You kind of feel like you're getting somewhere but you still feel stuck. BEST DAY TO FLY AND BOOK PLANE TICKETS!

Wednesday: Hump day - I still remember the first time I heard that phrase and it caught me really off guard... There is a sense of accomplishment with a Wednesday the hardest part is over and in a few days it will be the weekend. On a Wednesday night you will probably be doing something relatively fun as a reward for you hard work on M&T.

Thursday: Recently it's taken on the name Thirsty Thursday for those who can't quite wait till the weekend to let go and relax. Your so close to the finish line you can almost taste it! So why not start a little early you only live once and relaxation is a key to a long life.

Friday: WAHOOO you made it! Fridays are awesome who doesn't love them?!?!? Know to be a key going out night you can hang out with friends and probably don't have to get up early :) sweet have fun you deserved Fridays definitely = a feeling of accomplishment and success. An added bonus it is usually pay day so you have money to spend on all you crazy weekend plans double score.

Demetri Martin on WhoSay

Saturday: it's not as relaxing as Sunday because you're usually running around going for hikes, catching a movie, organizing a sock drawer, anything you haven't had the chance to do all week because you were so busy. Don't forget to take a little time out to chill and enjoy the sunshine it's the weekend!

Now these are the time honored ideas that one associates with each day... unless of course you work in retail or a restaurant then all of this means nothing because you rarely have a normal schedule!!
 what's your favorite day of the week? ~S~

Breaking the Replay Cycle

I really think the universe keeps giving us the same test until we choose to NOT repeat our same actions. In a light hearted example about once a month I binged on junk one night out with the girls we shared cheese pizza, loaded nachos, and mozzarella sticks no joke. Of course that made me ridiculously sick. I just watched this crazy "romantic" movie Last Night (another thing I really should not do) and I'll be fine and then become a melting pot of outrageous emotions. Love movies trigger my crazy internal women that is usually sane and rational. Today I invited a friend to lunch slightly announcing where and what time I would be going with the secret intention of making someone else want to go. Turns out she couldn't make it but the new shoe guy did... and he never eats on the terrace. I'm 99.01% super in control of my life and my choices here and that's one of the biggest things I like about being in LA. I do what I want when I want and for the time being that's how I like it. I think I'm starting to break some of these cycles if your not matching the effort I am putting in then I'm not going to feel bad about it. I've actually taken to giving a concentrated burst of attention when I feel inclined then walking away (particularly from guys in the shoe department) it sure as hell beats pouring every ounce of energy into something or someone who does not really care. In the movie the lead Johanna says "In the middle of most nights, when I can't sleep I replay you" and I think so many of us do that. Now I try to think of the one person who will always believe in me and support me- myself. Maybe one day that will include someone else but for now it's easier to just try and break the cycle.

Cute, Professional, Sexy- The Game

I am a silly person and I like to play little games with myself to keep my mind occupied especially when doing mundane tasks like my job. When I first started at the store I played Straight-Single with some other girls. A game I invented where you got points for correctly identify someone who worked at the store who was not only straight but also currently single. One girl got one point once.... Now I play Cute, Sexy, Professional since we have to wear only black or grey we are very limited in our clothing options. I have about 6 pieces I swap round to create different looks depending on my mood and the day. Now combined with makeup, hair, and accessories I create an overall look for the day. So in the morning I pick one of the categories and try to dress in a cute way, a business professional way, or sexy. The point of the game is to look that look so well that someone will comment on it "OMG you look so cute today" "Wow Shannon you look so professional" "Damn girl your looking good"(that's code for sexy). I get a point everyday someone correctly identifies the look I was going for. Clearly no one knows about the game but me. However the game took a drastic turn the day I returned to work after being home. I intentionally dressed ambiguously because I wanted the haircut to speak for itself and let me tell you I was called all three things!!! It's like the haircut became a trump card for the game. Now with the new look I have tried to reestablish the game by seeing how the new hair effects what people say to me. I've mostly gotten young, spunky, and cute ( I always get cute). It just further proves that even wearing the exact same thing with a new hair cut really can make you look different to someone else. One of my favorite coworkers said "Ms Cassidy back from MA looking sweet, sexy, and chic with her new hair and a little more flare." Sometimes you just got change it up a little bit ya know?

10" off for Locks for Love

25 Things a Girl Should Do/Know at 25

25 Things a Girl Should Do/Know at 25

1. Travel somewhere exciting preferably out of the country
2.  Have one really shitty relationship and one that changes your world
3. That each moment could be your last so make the most of it
4. The difference between guys who are worth your time and guys who are not
5. You should have tried sking/snowboarding, roller skating, motorcycling, and something that puts you high in the air parasailing/skydiving/hot air balloon/ bungie jump (note one of these things I have yet to do -good thing i’m not 26 yet)
6. Discover what you actually think about religion and spirituality not just what you were raised to believe
7. Find out what your passion is and take steps to make it happen
8. Start a retirement fund- fuck this one is hard but has to be done
9. On a similar note make a monthly budget....and stick to it
10. Know that you make the decisions for YOUR life no one else does yes not even your mother
11. Have decided that vegetables actually are pretty good and enjoy eating them
12. Be able to tell when your friend is really “okay”
13. Go skinny dipping
14. Find at least one type of exercise that you find tolerable enough to do regularly
15. At least 3 healthy non destructive ways to relax after a day of work
16. Wrap a gift well, tie a tie, and fold something in origami (still need to do one of these too)
17. How to get your own insurance, health care, lease, and bank accounts
18. That being an adult is basically like being a teenager just with more bills and booze
19. Be able to state your favorite movie, band, and book (yes book)
20. Try at least one crazy outrageous food like haggis
21. Know a good girlfriend will be there to support you no matter what even if they live 2,000 miles away
22. Gone on one outing/ excursion/ road trip by yourself and enjoyed it
23. That “sometimes you just have to die a little on the inside in order to be reborn as a stronger and wiser you”
24. Sing Karokee in public and not be ashamed of it
25. Discover who YOU are and what YOU want out of life!!!