Living for this Moment in LA

        Today I had one of the most beautiful experiences I have had in awhile. It was one of those moments when you feel like the universe is completely aligned and for that second you are exactly where you should be and it's so right. Kish and I were going to a gosho (writings of Nichiren Daishonin) study meeting at a fellow members house. I had a feeling it was going to be amazing when the street name was viewsite terrace. If you have ever driven in the hills of LA it feels like scary death- the roads are tiny and turning/parking is a nightmare luckily this morning I was not driving. I proclaimed "i'm sure the view is nice but it it really worth the hassle."

Roomies

        Once we walked in the front door there was a direct open view to LA in all it's glory! I leaned over to Kish and said "I take it back....it's totally worth it." I had to remind myself my mouth was agape. There were treasures from around the world and gorgeous art hanging beautifully. I don't want to say exactly whose house it was but wikipedia says "He is generally acknowledged to be jazz's greatest living composer." As we chanted the breeze rustled the room and the sunshine shone perfectly. It was a truly indescribable moment I was so beyond happy and eternally grateful for where I am.
         At one point in chanting we always honor the dead and I started crying I was just so overjoyed and I thought I so desperately want to share this with my mother, I know she would be proud of me. It's the hardest time and the best times that really make you miss someone you love. The writing was about overcoming deep struggle. The part that resonated with me most deeply was "The hardships along the way were worse then I imagined, and indeed more then I can put writing. I will leave you to surmise what I endured. But I have been prepared for such difficulties from the onset."It was exactly how I felt about my life in LA.
      Another part was "You who are presently suffering also posses within you the power to overcome that suffering." I cried pretty much the entire discussion silently but it was unavoidable (note the puffiness in the pictures). I know the struggle has made me strong and victorious I would never take any of it away. Am I completely sick of eating Romen and trying to decide if I can afford juice this week, ya, but am I still happy... yes. I cried for the struggle and the current successes I am having with my work situation. I cried for the loss of my mother and her support I so deeply cherished. I cried for my new job and how it will change my situation. It's a bizarre feeling to be so intensely happy and sad simultaneously. For that 2 hours I felt so alive, so in the moment, so blessed, and so content.

Vinessa and I pretty in purple!