1) I find it really challenging to trust anyone with a penis. After the years of hearing all this shit my friend have put up with/dealt with combined with my family situation I'm left wondering why people put themselves through it when if you're strong and secure you can totally be happy alone. There are only 2 straight men in this world I trust and both of them are barely in my life right now. Does fidelity exist? I wonder what a happy healthy relationship looks like in real life?
2) I am one of the most loving caring people you will EVER meet and i'm super emotional/passionate when it comes to "feelings." I can't not say how I'm feeling- my inner truth is always bursting to be unleashed. If im happy im exhilerated, sad im boaderline inconsolable, angry... well let's just say you DON'T want to see me angry. So I can't just put my emotions aside and let it be because I will end up heartbroken and wondering how I got so deep so quick....damn feelings :)
3) I can't distance myself from a person and just "wait and see." It's not my style - I can't seem to follow that rule. I have had some really amazing dates over the years but one night then no contact for several months seems pointless. Like what is the point of having this awesome time if you won't see that person for a few months, or a year, or possibly ever again. For instance one of the best nights I ever had ever in Bath with this guy Ben who never called I feel like those dates disappear into this love cloud somewhere in the sky where love goes to dissipate. I want my love to stay right here with me in my heart. Working to find the balance between self love and outside relationships = challenging! PS just wanted to share the definition of this because it was literally exactly how I felt and I love finding the perfect word to describe how I feel:
pseudo: adjective: almost, approaching, or trying to be. LOL
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