5 Life Lessons I Learned from My Mother

As the majority of my family is gearing up for the big Rays of Hope walk this weekend i'm left in LA wondering what it would be like if my Mom was still alive. What words of wisdom would she be telling me about living my dream and eating roman every night. Would she be proud? worried? would she have visited me and would I have shown her the Hollywood sign? She's been in my dreams the past few nights and we've talked about weddings, boyfriends, and zombies. What I do have is some stellar advice she imparted on me:

1) Be careful who you give your heart to (advice circa 2007)- one night I was upset about some silly crush I had and was crying because I had never had a real boyfriend. She said the common reassuring Mother things like "you're beautiful the right guy just hasn't found you yet" and "don't worry it will happen when it happens" I rolled my eyes and continued my over dramatic tantrum and then she got real serious and started telling me a truthful and painful story of the first guy she loved and "be careful who you give your heart to, you won't ever get it back." Now at 25 i've had my heart broken a few more times (including her passing) and I know you don't ever get it back- it's precious.
 
2) Never wake a sleeping baby (advice circa 1996 the year Conor arrived)- this is a great rule of thumb because it's hard enough to get a baby to sleep- just because you, a normal sleep patterned based adult, wants the baby to be awake it is sleeping and probably learning to sleep through the night respect that and in turn help protect the mother's sanity. I got to see my friend baby Nathaniel for the first time since he was born I saw her almost everyday of the course of her pregnancy and then there he. For a solid hour he slept in my arms I didn't mind that his diaper smelt of the fact I baby throw up all over my dress. Sure he's much cuter awake making baby gurgles and pursing his lips but that famous advice rings in my ears.

3) Beware of the sun (circa 1987-2009)- I think I was 10 when she told me to wear sunglasses because blue eyes attract more light and "you don't want to get crow's feet." Let's not count the endless amount of "are you wearing sun screen? Shannon Teresa. Your asking for it" I swear she grew that aloe plant in the kitchen just for me. This is some very serious good life advice with skin cancer, good habits, and a healthy awareness that white Irish skin gets red real quick. It's annoying to put on sunscreen so I can only imagine how tedious it is to put in on 3 more kids and after every trip in the water pre waterproof sunscreen days- thanks mom this advise I still have trouble following ( I didn't wear a stitch of sunscreen at the beach today....)

4) 40,000 is a lot of money (circa 2005)- I remember the day we went to WNEC (my first college) and she was hysterically crying to the financial planner about the loan we were going to have to take out. I didn't understand at 18 why she was so upset I thought everyone paid for college with loans. Now at 26 when I have to budget out every dollar of my fiances to pay off that money I think of her in that moment. I also recall the day she finished paying her student loans- she cried then too. When I questioned her why it mattered she said "I worked so hard for that degree and have been paying this off for the past 20 years." I'm thankful for the education I got but I am very aware of the price that cost me and exactly how long it will take to be gone, 2025.

5) Follow you passion (circa 2007)- I wanted to to Tish in NYC because I wanted to be a trained actress. I have always wanted to be an actress and she knew that. At 12 I begged her to move to NYC because Lee Thompson Young from The Famous Jett Jackson's mom moved to NYC so her son could audition for TV (mom turned that proposal down). When Bush got elected I begged my Mom to move us to Ireland so we could join the EU and escape the political BS (mom turned this one down to but was a bit more convinced). By the time I was 20 and attended a performing arts high school, had been in endless plays, and now an associates degree in theater she was at least open to the idea of me attending Tish for my Bachelor's. It didn't end up happening but we spent this one day In Ny just her and I on the way home we got in this massive fight because I couldn't understand why she wasn't being supportive to which she responded "I know you're going to follow your passion, it's just such a hard business Shannon." She knew it was going to be a struggle and she wanted to spare me that pain but still wanted me to follow my dream. For the record I never said this was going to be easy I think this blog is proof it isn't but it's has always been to get to this and now it's time to make it happen.

Remember when I said one day i'll have an Oscar Mom?