Step One: Love Yourself this is harder then it sounds. Ya know when you beat yourself down- I should have done this - why aren't I doing that? what was the purpose of majoring in that degree? SHUT THAT OFF it does no one any good especially your piece of mind/sanity.
Step Two: Find activities that you can enjoy doing alone. For me it's hiking, reading, watching movies, painting, and practicing my British accent. I don't need anyone to have those things be fulfilling they just are because I truly enjoy them.
Step Three: Appreciate Silence: We live in such a busy chaotic world it's such a rare thing to be still and do nothing. I'm always listening to music, chanting, thinking so loud I swear it's audible- quiet... such beautiful nothingness.
***When you can be alone and be perfectly content it is much easier to be by yourself for any length of time.
2) Find Something That Gives You Purpose:
( If you thought point 1 was hard you're in for another doozey)
Step One: pin point what you are passionate about. For me it is, and always has been, acting- I enjoy it, I find it fulfilling, and it's challenging. When I can't do that pretty much anyway of being creative art, writing etc does a stand up replacement. What make you really want to get up and do something?
Step Two: Takes steps to be able to do the things you love. Maybe your goal for the day is just going to the store to by supplies for your project. Maybe it's taking a few moments for self reflection. Whatever needs to be in place for you to do your passion counts as doing it - I repeat ALL SMALL STEPS COUNT
Step Three: Do it- simple- do what you are passionate about!
***When you are actively involved in something you truly love you are fulfilled, content, and happy.
3) Change the Way You Think About Being Alone:
Step One: No time for a pity party- life is too short. If you're at home thinking "why do I have no one to spend time with, hang out" etc it is only inflicting a poor me mentality and no one wants to be around that. Seriously those people who always complain never have friends because NO ONE ever wants to be around complainers.
Step Two: "You have power over your mind-not outside events. Realize this, and you will find strength." Marcus Aurelius. You can't control a friend bailing last minute or the epic snow storm happening outside (wait I live in LA- scratch that example) but you can control how you feel about it. So let it be - RELAX- and enjoy your new found moment to do you.
Step Three: Overcome that strong fear of being on your own. "We gain strength, and courage, and confidence by each experience in which we really stop to look fear in the face..we must do that which we cannot" Eleanor Roosevelt. It's hard I get it were humans we fear abandonment, no one loving us, etc but shit happens living in fear is not living at all. We only have such precious time on this planet make it count- throw out fear and live every second doing what you want to do!
***When our mind makes us the victim, weak, or in fear you can change that negativity to help you learn to appreciate, grown and transform.
I'm not proclaiming to be an expert on this but in the past year and eight months I've kinda become well versed in the art of surviving solitude- so why not share some of this slowly acquired wisdom? I think being able to appreciate the process is one of the signs of being a fully functional adult... at least that's what I keep telling my quite often lost 26 year old self! ~S~
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