Throwing Away A Heart

         Sometimes I am so utterly shocked at the disregard we as humans have for one anther's well being. This post could go in many directions, activism, politics, general human decency, but of course I tend to be most fascinated by the well being of the heart. To know you hold a part of someones heart in your hand and decide to let is slip from your fingers tips, to throw it away would show intent- enough to dispose of it properly, no to release carelessly. It's such a strange concept to me and so foreign because I don't think I could ever be so careless with someone elses heart, or part of their soul.
          There are the people we throw away. Maybe they did you dirty so you have no interest in keeping them in your life. So with a few easy steps you take that part and efficiently place it in the nearest trash receptacle. You are rid of them and maybe even better for it. There is no looking back with a ting of nostalgia they played a part in your life for a time and they no longer do. You are more then fine with this decision and maybe are even happy to be no longer keeping any part of them.
         The other people are the ones we let slowly slip from the firm grasp we held down the palm right over the last bump of the fingertip and then as if the air cradles it the heart slowly falls to the ground. The process was so slow so minute you may not even be aware that part is gone until you've walked several steps away and realize your hand is so much lighter. You think- should I go back? Do I need that? You pause and reflect. You decide you no longer want a part of that person anymore so you keep moving forward first with trepidation and then just a few steps later it as if it never happened.

          People come and go from our lives that is how it is. Nothing is stagnant the world is always changing and moving. Sometimes I wonder what it would be like to have someone who intends to be a "fixed" point in all that madness. In marriage for example you're making a promise to, to the best of your abilities, always remain with that person. A parent tends, for most people, to be someone who you think of as "always going to be there." If you don't have any "fixed" people I think it's easy to get quite lost. The answer would be to be so strong and self reliant that you could function as one soul in and of yourself. I don't know if I believe that's even possible- we need people.
      Without going into detail, because I haven't been given permission to say, 3 specific instances come to mind that have happen to people in my inner circle this year. Each illuminate a part of a puzzle that is driving me, to be honest, slightly mad.
1. A long term partner after making "commitments" towards future plans as a couple leaves the partnership entirely. They must have been having doubts for some time but they leave the unassuming partner taken aback. Not only do they still string along the person they secretly have been sleeping with a mutual friend. Why make those promises in the first place? Why go down a path you don't actually want to take?
2. After 2 years worth of back and forth flirting endless sexual tension and emotional companionship two individuals finally get into something resembling a "relationship." The person who was always more reserved finally caved and is initiating the dating the other wanted all along. Then 1 month in breaks off the entire thing, without consulting the partner, and tries to go back to life as if it never happened. Leaving the partner who has wanted this for 2 whole years devastated in their wake.
3. A guy casually meets a girl and starts to like her. As a general rule he doesn't really "go steady" but she initiates the committed partnership. Things progress and deepen for 2 months. After making plans that morning the guy receives a text in two short lines saying were done i'm getting back with my ex and is blocked from all communication with her.
       Any of these situations alone, especially to the people who lived them, are devastating. However as an outside observer seeing the grander picture of bullshit I can't stomach it. I have literally cried for my friends because I see the direct and complete pain they've experienced. In all cases the following happen
A- no consultation with the partner before making epic changes in their situation
B- a lack of openness about where they were emotionally etc
C- the ability to callously leave the other with no answers as to why they behaved the way they did

Jane Austen pointedly wrote “There are few people whom I really love, and still fewer of whom I think well. The more I see of the world, the more am I dissatisfied with it; and every day confirms my belief of the inconsistency of all human characters, and of the little dependence that can be placed on the appearance of merit or sense.” 

    It makes me sad that the truth and honesty we are all looking for in a partnership doesn't exist in most modern relationships. Maybe it's the age of people I'm around, although I do seek guidance and opinions from older acquaintances Why? Why? Why?Why do we treat each other with so little care? We are humans with emotions, and baggage, and feelings that factor into everything. How can you eradicate a partner like that?I have no conclusion to tie this blog up in a pretty little bow- I've learned nothing. I will continue to question and wonder about a problem with no foreseeable conclusion other then I will commit to always trying my best to be mindful when I hold someones heart in my hand.