5 Life Lessons I Learned from My Mother

As the majority of my family is gearing up for the big Rays of Hope walk this weekend i'm left in LA wondering what it would be like if my Mom was still alive. What words of wisdom would she be telling me about living my dream and eating roman every night. Would she be proud? worried? would she have visited me and would I have shown her the Hollywood sign? She's been in my dreams the past few nights and we've talked about weddings, boyfriends, and zombies. What I do have is some stellar advice she imparted on me:

1) Be careful who you give your heart to (advice circa 2007)- one night I was upset about some silly crush I had and was crying because I had never had a real boyfriend. She said the common reassuring Mother things like "you're beautiful the right guy just hasn't found you yet" and "don't worry it will happen when it happens" I rolled my eyes and continued my over dramatic tantrum and then she got real serious and started telling me a truthful and painful story of the first guy she loved and "be careful who you give your heart to, you won't ever get it back." Now at 25 i've had my heart broken a few more times (including her passing) and I know you don't ever get it back- it's precious.
 
2) Never wake a sleeping baby (advice circa 1996 the year Conor arrived)- this is a great rule of thumb because it's hard enough to get a baby to sleep- just because you, a normal sleep patterned based adult, wants the baby to be awake it is sleeping and probably learning to sleep through the night respect that and in turn help protect the mother's sanity. I got to see my friend baby Nathaniel for the first time since he was born I saw her almost everyday of the course of her pregnancy and then there he. For a solid hour he slept in my arms I didn't mind that his diaper smelt of the fact I baby throw up all over my dress. Sure he's much cuter awake making baby gurgles and pursing his lips but that famous advice rings in my ears.

3) Beware of the sun (circa 1987-2009)- I think I was 10 when she told me to wear sunglasses because blue eyes attract more light and "you don't want to get crow's feet." Let's not count the endless amount of "are you wearing sun screen? Shannon Teresa. Your asking for it" I swear she grew that aloe plant in the kitchen just for me. This is some very serious good life advice with skin cancer, good habits, and a healthy awareness that white Irish skin gets red real quick. It's annoying to put on sunscreen so I can only imagine how tedious it is to put in on 3 more kids and after every trip in the water pre waterproof sunscreen days- thanks mom this advise I still have trouble following ( I didn't wear a stitch of sunscreen at the beach today....)

4) 40,000 is a lot of money (circa 2005)- I remember the day we went to WNEC (my first college) and she was hysterically crying to the financial planner about the loan we were going to have to take out. I didn't understand at 18 why she was so upset I thought everyone paid for college with loans. Now at 26 when I have to budget out every dollar of my fiances to pay off that money I think of her in that moment. I also recall the day she finished paying her student loans- she cried then too. When I questioned her why it mattered she said "I worked so hard for that degree and have been paying this off for the past 20 years." I'm thankful for the education I got but I am very aware of the price that cost me and exactly how long it will take to be gone, 2025.

5) Follow you passion (circa 2007)- I wanted to to Tish in NYC because I wanted to be a trained actress. I have always wanted to be an actress and she knew that. At 12 I begged her to move to NYC because Lee Thompson Young from The Famous Jett Jackson's mom moved to NYC so her son could audition for TV (mom turned that proposal down). When Bush got elected I begged my Mom to move us to Ireland so we could join the EU and escape the political BS (mom turned this one down to but was a bit more convinced). By the time I was 20 and attended a performing arts high school, had been in endless plays, and now an associates degree in theater she was at least open to the idea of me attending Tish for my Bachelor's. It didn't end up happening but we spent this one day In Ny just her and I on the way home we got in this massive fight because I couldn't understand why she wasn't being supportive to which she responded "I know you're going to follow your passion, it's just such a hard business Shannon." She knew it was going to be a struggle and she wanted to spare me that pain but still wanted me to follow my dream. For the record I never said this was going to be easy I think this blog is proof it isn't but it's has always been to get to this and now it's time to make it happen.

Remember when I said one day i'll have an Oscar Mom?

LA Year One: Top 10 Moments

Me officially on the West Coast!

So in honor of my one year living/surviving/kicking ass in LA I would like to mention my top 10 favorite moments (in chronological order)

1. My friend Dan moved out here to SD 2 years ago and he was going to be in town 2 weeks after I had been in LA. When he asked "Do you want to go to a vegetarian place?" I nearly died I was so excited. It was in Dtown Culver City and I got a tap on my back as I turned and screamed while simultaneously throwing my arms around him. It was only 2 weeks in but it was so comforting to see someone so familiar and comforting. The food was awesome and I had lavender lemonade to drink :) By using my powers of subtle suggestion I eventually got Dan to "come up with the idea" of going to the Santa Monica Pier. It was just like I had always pictured it and my first view of the pacific ocean in real life. The pier is like a magic world of fun and chaos. The sun was shinning and the ocean breeze keeping me cool it was perfect.

2. Jennie was in town and we had run all over the city sightseeing. One tour guide was like you took  her up to Muhalland drive right? I hadn't -so we went right at sunset to this overlook which shows all of LA for miles (what you can see through the hazy pollution anyways). It's far enough away that all the lights look like twinkling stars. The sky becomes pink/purple/orange and it's amazing. If felt real being there with one of my east coast friends in LA like it was cementing my presence in the city.

3. It was New Years Eve and Jennie and I ventured over to Amy's house for a pre party. There was karaoke and shots. We went to hermosa pier to a New England themed bar. We arrived 10 minutes before midnight just in time to pee grab a drink and rejoice. I remember looking up and screaming that's a celtic banner before Amy screamed back "It's a Boston bar" lol maybe it was the booze, maybe it was the fact I acquired an awesome feather tiara thing and a rose from a drunk guy but it was pure fun.

Such a sucker for a feather head piece!

4. It was my Birthday and at the time had like 3 friends in all of LA Alex/Pam and Amy. She basically said she'd do whatever I wanted. After the Edison was closed for a private party we decided on a jazz bar and burlesque themed place. However on the way I heard the sounds of my favorite British phenomenon -THE BEATLES there were Asian men as this Beatles tribute band! Fate intervened and I found myself singing Beatles in a state of pure joy. At midnight this kid Michael I went up and sang the Beatle's Birthday song (it was his birthday too) I was on cloud 9 is was so awesome. My shoes ended up in the rain overnight but let's not get to into detail....

Posing like a true starlet!

5. Kerri boss's apartment was throwing an event to raise money for clean drinking water. It was hosted my Michael Welch (FROM TWILIGHT) and there was free booze. There was publicity and one of those promotion backdrops. An hour in I was drink explaining to Michal the poverty I saw in Jamaica and how he should come to cabo with us. At cabo I spent hours flirting with a guy who looked like Jason Schwartzman (it was not JS) drank a margarita I don't remember. The stumbled down Hollywood BLVD looking at the walk of fame stars and just being happy to be there..

 6. It was finally hot enough to go to the beach in a bathing suit although after going in the ocean a sweatshirt seemed necessary. It was sunny and  I was with a bunch of girls just chilling. Eventually they all left and I watched the sun set over the water it was my first LA beach sunset and I took like a gazillion pictures writing I <3 socal in the sand (see blog cover photo). I had watched the sunset everyday on my trip to LA and now I was here at the end of the US, the most West I could be, watching the sunset feet in the sand, hair blowing in the wind, camera in hand- I was happy.

7. Lianne invited me to hang out one night so I popped over after work. Since the first day I moved here I had always heard about Koreatown karaoke- that it was insane and fun. I super <3 karaoke but first we went to a speakeasy with a secret password to get in. It was soo dark you hit things until your eyes adjusted. I met new people and had a blast. Afterwards we went to Brass Monkey to sing and it was a HOT MESS in the best way imaginable. You can really do pretty much anything here.

8. Throughout the summer the Hollywood Forever Cemetery shows movie against one of the mosalium walls. Pam and I tried planning to go but I always seemed to be working. When Dirty Dancing came on the roster I specifically begged my manager for the day off. It was so fun the crowd all huddled together under the 5 visible LA stars. It's so fun to experience a movie with hundreds of people like a premier night for a super hero movie but here were fans of a good love story. At one point a shooting star flew right over the wall and I made a very sincere wish about my future...it was an amazing experience. The graves were really bizarre but that night made me believe in love for a moment again.

9. My job at the store was always meant to be a temporary thing. The hours are so random that it never allowed me time to really audition and live a "normal" life. How I came to get my new job is an epic story in and of itself but when I got a call from the Director of the counseling center I knew it had the potential to give me a better life here. I was in my car when I heard the official "I would like to offer you the position as the evening client coordinator etc etc" I bounced my feet and did a little dance. This job would allow me to audition during the day, it paid better, and it would be around people trying to help people not manipulate them...I was overjoyed.

10. My Buddhist practice was the backbone of my survival throughout the year and my best friend when there was no one else to confide in. A few days after finding about my new job I was invited to a study lecture at a famous Jazz composers home. A) the home is a mansion of sorts with art, plants, and treasure from around the world - not to mention an view of LA that takes your breath away. B) The meeting was about overcoming struggle and perseverance. I cried the entire time but in away that was so cathartic and healing. I had done it- I survived a year - I succeeded in living a life in one of the worlds hardest cities. When I chanted for the dead I was overcome with a feeling that my mother was proud of me but more importantly I was proud of myself. I was happy I live in Los Angeles!

This is what an East Coast girl living and loving Los Angeles looks like!

A Touch of New England in LA

A recent trip to the grocery store had me in stitches..... In New England if you want decorative hay you go to the local farm pay 5 bucks and get a gigantic bail. In LA you go to the grocery and get this...

That's $8.99 for the little bail and $14.99 for the big! Besides price inflation it seems so silly to have hay wrapped in plastic with logos like it goes against the natural outdoorsy feel of hay. However I did manage to find one thing in LA that was even better then New England- the LA County Haunted Hey Ride! There are legit auditions to be one of the creatures on this thing and its in the middle of the woods and it's epic. On the choosen night we were graced with the presence of Elvira. I indulged in some hot cider and french fries. I tried to pretend it was a cool fall night as I was wrapped in a scarf, knit hat, jeans, sweater, and jacket for about 70 degrees... a bit overkill but a little imagination never hurt anyone. Let me add you're advised to wear ponchos on this voyage. The BEST part was when we were going up this hill and there were like 40 bent heads in this chapel I thought "Are they real? they can't be real? they would never pay 40 actors for this one scene." Well a demonic satan rose to the sky and with a flash summoned 40 live satanic worshipers with beady red eyes who chanted and hit sticks like maniacs it was awesomely terrifying. Other scenes included deranged elves, sexy dungeon mistresses, creep playhouse stuff etc. Outside there was a whole walkway of a backwards bone marry go round, cardboard cutouts, a side show, and Halloween snack cart. I could pretend it was New England where fall exists buy hey it's still sunny here a girl can't really complain about that!

What happen to those who don't follow the rules!

A giant walking scary thing!

Riding the bone merry go round

The day I left for LA

A huge part of me feels like it was just yesterday that I left. I remember Pat helping me pack up my car and asking "Are you sure this is all going to fit?" my response "No...just keep shoving it all in." I had drawn a little map about how I imagined everything would fit in the car and that worked up until a point and then it was just pile it in... pile it on top of that.... and then shove this behind that pile. Some things were removable like my backpack and the container with the food I packed. One point I attempted to get some makeup out of a bag and all this stuff came piling out, one word, Jenga. I remember having a chanting session with my lovely Chicopee district SGI and crying the whole time just sincerely chanting for protection and strength. I was so scared because it was something I had wanted for so long with every fiber of my being. I think saying goodbye to my father was the hardest part of that morning. It's weird because that day is blending with the the last time I went home and left in my memory those days "feel" the same. I was so unbelievably tired on my drive to PA because I was just overwhelmed physically and emotionally. At 3 hours in I remembering panicking thinking "turn around you can't do this, you're insane." Luckily the passion in myself that wants to be a film actress won out. It was the one and only time on the trip I considered going back. I look a small nap at a McDonalds, the only nap I was ever able to take in my car on that trip even though I tried numerous times. On my final hour to N's I saw this weird light that looked like a UFO or something as I passed I realized it was the Amish! Of course the highlight was being able to stop and spend the weekend with Nicole and Chris. Sort of re-adapt and adjust being "gone" but not "gone" yet. Sometimes I wonder what would have happened if I did turn around where and what would I be doing now??? I am so happy I was strong enough to have not turned around because I am happy, even with all the challenges, to be here today in my room with the beautiful Cali sunshine ~S~