My blog is about my journey in life, thoughts and feelings as I change and grow, and hopefully create entries that resonate with you!
Monday, April 15, 2013
5 reasons why acupunture kicks ass
So my body had been leading a revolt against me since the wisdom teeth removal a month ago. My abdomen ballooned out to epic proportions, I threw by back out, and the my wrist began flaring up again. I was loosing it and then I remembered a friend of a friend (Alex) who I met at a party does acupuncture. I'm pretty broke and thought of going to a traditional doctor did cross my mind but all I wanted was acupuncture. It transformed me 2 years ago after my mother's death and all that trauma/stress I endured in my body. I basically came to realize it was 100% necessary for my health and I went today. My body feels a gazillion times better!!! When I went in I could only lift my leg to about 35 degree angle when I left I could do a solid 90 on both legs! I have energy and the overall fluidity of my joints it also improved. So I would like to share 5 reasons why acupuncture is an amazing experience:
1) You get to feel the inside of your body like you can't in any other way I have experienced. Usually we only pay attention to our muscles and nerves if they are in pain or we are working out. However when you're on the table (if you really relax and let you mind be still) you can feel the nerve paths, interconnectedness of you as a living organism, and literally the energy flowing through you. It's a surreal feeling that it totally unexplainable you've got to feel it to understand it.
2) Your body heals- enough said
3) The acupuncturist takes into account your entire being in terms of physical, mental, emotional health to create a full body healing plan. Unlike western doctors they don't judge or try to make you conform to their personal beliefs in your health. I am so NOT about judging so this really works for the way I think and want to be.
4) The feeling that you along with the acupuncturists knowledge/needles have the power to change and effect your condition is beyond reassuring. Sometimes we think "why is my back spasming again" or "why am I always feeling lethargic" the solution is in you. This is a key Buddhist idea to which is that you have are the ultimate influence to yourself. Sometimes pain is debilitating- I felt so lost in my own body the last month and now I feel present and grounded.
5) For me the practice also gives me an element of hope. Hope that I will heal- hope that I will feel better- and hope that I will be able to the dancer pose in yoga again sometime soon. Western medicine does not give me hope it diminishes me and makes me feel bad about where I am right now.
I feel so grateful for the experience I had today and much more ready to conquer the world.
If you're in LA and want to try it out get in touch with Alex: Balance Within Medical Acupuncture
3 very silly things i'll admit to doing today
1. I could not for the life of me get a new jar of peanut butter opened ( I tried 6 times over a day and a half) so I brought it to work knowing most likely there would be a man there to open it for me. The femenist in me is crying but hey I REALLY wanted peanut butter crackers....
2. After watching the first date episode of new girl I actually contemplated for a good few (ahem cough cough 5 or so) minutes which charector I was most like. I came to the conclusion I think it may be Nick- not Jess like I would want it be- who doesn't want to be Zoey Deschenel????
PS- If you said "No" you're lying
3. I almost bought a pair of underwear at work today because I have needed to do laundry for days and have used all my underwear including the uncomfortable thongs, gramas, and sexy lingerie...I REALLY DON'T WANT TO DO LAUNDRY and all my quarter are gone. I didn't but now that i'm pondering what to wear tomorrow i'm stuck with the fact I will have to laundry
Why would one post these more or less ridiculous things on the internet. Well...
A) No one I know is up right now so I have to tell someone
B) You have to find the small joys and pleasure in a day to make life worth something
C) People need to be silly to be happy so why not share my silly with the world since I want everyone to be happy! xoxo ~S~
2. After watching the first date episode of new girl I actually contemplated for a good few (ahem cough cough 5 or so) minutes which charector I was most like. I came to the conclusion I think it may be Nick- not Jess like I would want it be- who doesn't want to be Zoey Deschenel????
PS- If you said "No" you're lying
3. I almost bought a pair of underwear at work today because I have needed to do laundry for days and have used all my underwear including the uncomfortable thongs, gramas, and sexy lingerie...I REALLY DON'T WANT TO DO LAUNDRY and all my quarter are gone. I didn't but now that i'm pondering what to wear tomorrow i'm stuck with the fact I will have to laundry
Why would one post these more or less ridiculous things on the internet. Well...
A) No one I know is up right now so I have to tell someone
B) You have to find the small joys and pleasure in a day to make life worth something
C) People need to be silly to be happy so why not share my silly with the world since I want everyone to be happy! xoxo ~S~
Saturday, April 13, 2013
Reclaiming My Heart
What does one call a poem on a blog- is it still a poem or now a blog? or simply a poem on a blog.... After the events that have transpired this week I wrote this as an ode to my feelings and as a plan of action for my future.
Reclaiming My Heart
Today is the day I will do the impossible
I will let go of these men entirely
each part of them I have kept with me
is now released into the mystic universe
to find a home in someone new
I will let go of these men entirely
each part of them I have kept with me
is now released into the mystic universe
to find a home in someone new
I can no longer hold these men in my heart
there is too much suffering to contain them all
I once believed I was protecting their memory
as a token of gratitude I would still hold them dear
but what about me and my protection?
there is too much suffering to contain them all
I once believed I was protecting their memory
as a token of gratitude I would still hold them dear
but what about me and my protection?
holding on feels safe and familiar
leaving no space for love to renew
we cannot keep someone en locked within us forever
no one has the right to own another’s heart
even one piece as small as it may be is too great
leaving no space for love to renew
we cannot keep someone en locked within us forever
no one has the right to own another’s heart
even one piece as small as it may be is too great
the heart belongs to the person beating it
they must standup to reclaim their heart
they must standup to reclaim their heart
Monday, April 8, 2013
Byakuren: Human Revolution Year 1
Byakuren "The mission of the Byakuren is to be pioneering practitioners, to
protect fellow members who embrace the Gohonzon, and to safeguard our
community centers—the strongholds of kosen-rufu." —Daisaku Ikeda (This mean to help out my Buddhist organization (SGI) with a fighting happy spirit)
On Easter day one year ago I made a commitment to become a Byakuren and get involved with supporting members and be less ego driven. I remember the day I got inducted so vividly. I was scared I literally knew no one there except the girls I was first introduced to in order to sign up, Shima and Ty. I had no clue was I getting myself into other then the time commitment aspect of it and the fact everyone continuously said "it will change your whole life state." I was down for change and making friends so I swallowed my hesitation and went. I was away from my family on a holiday something that was still very new for being in LA but it felt right being there. After being inducted I felt excited and ready to tackle the challenge. At first I started off really strong going to every meeting and helping out the first Sunday of every month at KRG (when we chant for world peace) and did some toban shifts (3 hour night shifts at the center). Then I entered into the hellish realm of working 7 days a week. For 3 months I wasn't able to do ANY ACTIVITIES it was hurting my heart, my soul, and my life mission.
I chanted to have time to be able to do Byakuren activities on top of the regular meetings as well. At that beginning of the year I was also appointed as a vice leader. So it became beyond clear that I needed a different schedule to be able to go about participating in everything I wanted to do. I got that and have been able to do almost every single activity as a member, leader and byakuren over the past 2 months (winning). I steadfastly helped out at the last 3 KRG even though waking up at 7 am is my personal hell. I got to witness the transformation of my leader Ty from dedicated Byakuren on her transitional journey forward. I've got to spend time with amazing/inspiring Colleen who reminds me to chant for what I want NOW.
Last week it was the induction ceremony for new girls who want to undertake the challenge/transformation. I told myself I was only going to see Ty graduate, I really wanted to be exploring Malibu (which I did after). However it was so inspiring to hear about other young women's victories and to video conference with other Byakuren groups on the west coast! It was epic to see Ty give her "goodbye" speech after 9 years and the new girls collect their shift supply goodies bag- I loved it all. I started to think how has doing this changed me? I don't see any major transformation in my life state or have some major experience for proof even thought I was happy, I felt a little disheartened. I was thankful for the new ones joining and hoping for their transformation even though I couldn't see me own.
Later that night Shima posted 2 pictures of me that I had never seen before from the induction back in 2012. I was literally shocked I personally think I look like an entirely different person. 2012 me looks a little scared but hopeful - unsure but willing- and my general size. I immediately looked at the 3 pictures I took that day (before my camera died) and was blown away. 2013 me looks joyful, confident, content, and radiant (also a little tired but hey my back was thrown out- I wasn't aiming for perfection)... maybe something had changed. I was left with this feeling of the journey I can see the transformation physically but what was the real end result on the inside?
Today my alarm went off at 7am the first Sunday of the month it was time for KRG at 8. It would be our first one without Ty and I was pinged with a bit of sadness. It took everything I had to physically get myself there a shot of soda, some nice perfume, a pump me up jam, but it still takes tremendous energy even when you know the great benefit it will have. When I got to the room there was only one other older Byakuren and the rest where new. Us "experienced" girls shared some knowledge about our duties and what it means to be Byakuren during these meetings. I spent the next 3 hours dedicating myself to helping the meeting be as inspiring to the members as possible. Towards the end I talked with Carrie (who had come later on) about the induction and how it had been a year for us.
I mentioned how bizarre it was to be helping train these new girls and how we once knew nothing about how to support these meetings either. There are specific duties, jobs, and general things we do always with the members happiness in mind. I concurred with Diyva the best way to lead them was by example and guidance. Don't get me wrong it wasn't about "teaching" them what I know in an ego way it was about seeing how far I had come and what I could do help train the next generation. They just represented me a year ago in a symbolic way. I was in awe at how much we have grown. Carrie, Diyva, Collen and I were all inducted last year and I never even realized until Ty posted a group shot from the previous year. I didn't know any of them then- we are all right next to each other- perfect strangers who are now connected.
If I get nothing else out of doing Byakuren it would at least be that I got to learn and grow along the side of these amazing women. We generally do a 2 year term so I have one year left to go. I questioned did I transform enough in the past year can I undergo my human revolution in the 1 year I have left? I look back and see one solid year of working to be the best Bodhisattva of the earth I can be. 1 year of struggle and victory. 1 year of friendship and bonding. Whether it being wobbling in the courtyard, performing skits, helping members, polishing our own inner mirrors, or transforming our Karma we did one year and we can do so much in the year we have left!
On Easter day one year ago I made a commitment to become a Byakuren and get involved with supporting members and be less ego driven. I remember the day I got inducted so vividly. I was scared I literally knew no one there except the girls I was first introduced to in order to sign up, Shima and Ty. I had no clue was I getting myself into other then the time commitment aspect of it and the fact everyone continuously said "it will change your whole life state." I was down for change and making friends so I swallowed my hesitation and went. I was away from my family on a holiday something that was still very new for being in LA but it felt right being there. After being inducted I felt excited and ready to tackle the challenge. At first I started off really strong going to every meeting and helping out the first Sunday of every month at KRG (when we chant for world peace) and did some toban shifts (3 hour night shifts at the center). Then I entered into the hellish realm of working 7 days a week. For 3 months I wasn't able to do ANY ACTIVITIES it was hurting my heart, my soul, and my life mission.
I chanted to have time to be able to do Byakuren activities on top of the regular meetings as well. At that beginning of the year I was also appointed as a vice leader. So it became beyond clear that I needed a different schedule to be able to go about participating in everything I wanted to do. I got that and have been able to do almost every single activity as a member, leader and byakuren over the past 2 months (winning). I steadfastly helped out at the last 3 KRG even though waking up at 7 am is my personal hell. I got to witness the transformation of my leader Ty from dedicated Byakuren on her transitional journey forward. I've got to spend time with amazing/inspiring Colleen who reminds me to chant for what I want NOW.
Last week it was the induction ceremony for new girls who want to undertake the challenge/transformation. I told myself I was only going to see Ty graduate, I really wanted to be exploring Malibu (which I did after). However it was so inspiring to hear about other young women's victories and to video conference with other Byakuren groups on the west coast! It was epic to see Ty give her "goodbye" speech after 9 years and the new girls collect their shift supply goodies bag- I loved it all. I started to think how has doing this changed me? I don't see any major transformation in my life state or have some major experience for proof even thought I was happy, I felt a little disheartened. I was thankful for the new ones joining and hoping for their transformation even though I couldn't see me own.
2012 Byakuren Induction |
2013 Byakuren Induction with Ty my fearless leader :) |
Today my alarm went off at 7am the first Sunday of the month it was time for KRG at 8. It would be our first one without Ty and I was pinged with a bit of sadness. It took everything I had to physically get myself there a shot of soda, some nice perfume, a pump me up jam, but it still takes tremendous energy even when you know the great benefit it will have. When I got to the room there was only one other older Byakuren and the rest where new. Us "experienced" girls shared some knowledge about our duties and what it means to be Byakuren during these meetings. I spent the next 3 hours dedicating myself to helping the meeting be as inspiring to the members as possible. Towards the end I talked with Carrie (who had come later on) about the induction and how it had been a year for us.
I mentioned how bizarre it was to be helping train these new girls and how we once knew nothing about how to support these meetings either. There are specific duties, jobs, and general things we do always with the members happiness in mind. I concurred with Diyva the best way to lead them was by example and guidance. Don't get me wrong it wasn't about "teaching" them what I know in an ego way it was about seeing how far I had come and what I could do help train the next generation. They just represented me a year ago in a symbolic way. I was in awe at how much we have grown. Carrie, Diyva, Collen and I were all inducted last year and I never even realized until Ty posted a group shot from the previous year. I didn't know any of them then- we are all right next to each other- perfect strangers who are now connected.
LA Northwest inductees 2011 |
If I get nothing else out of doing Byakuren it would at least be that I got to learn and grow along the side of these amazing women. We generally do a 2 year term so I have one year left to go. I questioned did I transform enough in the past year can I undergo my human revolution in the 1 year I have left? I look back and see one solid year of working to be the best Bodhisattva of the earth I can be. 1 year of struggle and victory. 1 year of friendship and bonding. Whether it being wobbling in the courtyard, performing skits, helping members, polishing our own inner mirrors, or transforming our Karma we did one year and we can do so much in the year we have left!
Carrie, Colleen, Ty, Shannon, and Cammie at February KRG fighting with our lion hearted spirit! |
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