1. I think i'm allergic to wine yet for some reason I keep drinking it anyway.
2. That half the fun in the "seduction" is the waiting and the victory of seeing your plan come to fruition.
3. That I feel a serious lack of protection from the people meant to protect me and therefore I have to become a stronger protector of myself I am becoming an adult after all. Also once I unfairly designated someone my protector and it was a role they didn't want and again it needs to be my responsibility not someone else's unless they ask to take that on.
4. This is a two fold point on moving on after relationships
A. A friend says
"because
you are a dreamer... you think with your heart... you see the possibilities... and that's why you have me a realist as a best friend" I do I see the potential and what I imagine something to be comapred to what it really is I create delusions and fantasy and sometimes reality is necessary. I will never have something real until I am 100% real with myself first. It is something I have done my whole life and just needed to me reminded of... thank you lucid dreaming and friend for bringing this to my attention.
B. One of the main reasons I find leaving my job so hard is because I don't have many friends or family here and my coworkers are my family they are the ones who ask me about my day and bring me snacks because i' m broke. Who will I have when I leave? My manager said she will always be my rock if I need it. Therapy with your manager good idea??? bad idea???
5. In a few days I will have been in LA a 3/4 of a year. Where will I be at the one year point? What are the steps I need to take now so that I'm not leaving in a year bummed I never succeeded ( Ps I totally know this won't be the case just emphasizing my point)? If my life truly is here now what elements do I need to make it most successful and that list includes more friends, a hobby, a job, acting.
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