The Point of No Turning Back

When it comes time to make a decision there inevitably is always a moment in time where the decision is in the balance. I always knew and planned for moving to LA but I remember trying to put my foot down on the gas to pull away from my childhood house and was stuck. 4 1/2 hours into the drive I nearly turned around I actually pulled over and had to tell myself it was just fear and that I could do anything. Since that moment I have not looked back once with regret because even if nothing ever happens here ever I did it. I think all kinds of relationships hit that point at some point to. Especially in dating I think you can always trace it to a moment you thought I could love this person or I could never love this person then all the rest of it is details. I think sometimes we try to trick ourselves or give false reasons for why we made the decisions we did but in the end we always knew from the beginning. If you listen to your heart truly you will know what the right decision is, always. ~S~

When Horoscopes Blow Your Mind

So I have always been a fan of horoscopes, tarot cards, anything of that sort. When I was 14 I made my email aquarius and my birthday and it been the same ever since. Today mine read "Under the combined influence of the Hermit and Justice you are craving for security and calm, and for sorting out your love relationships. You therefore decide to keep away from people and withdraw into the depth of your own soul, to assess your situation."I couldn't have written a more purely true statement then if i had actually written it myself. The day of prom my horoscope said something like "you have worked very hard for this day, celebrate, and don't forget to make you acceptance speech short" that night I was crowned prom queen! Of course I think there are hookey bs things out there but i do think overall there is something to it. Have you ever met someone and been like they are such a (insert sign here) and they were. I had one friend and he was so his sign it was unbelievable and I do think I am very much the passionate, emotional, caring aquarius.

Girls in their 20's

So I was told I would like the new HBO Show Girls but it's almost too much like my life to be interesting...however it has introduced me to some good music and I enjoy that not all the girls are super thin and traditionally pretty. The thing about your 20's is of course you are broke because well who knows what they actually want to be doing and if you do it's most likely out of reach. You are also bound to fall for the shitest guys you can find ya know the one who uses you and never calls I think maybe by 30 we'll get over this one. There's also that nagging feeling of shouldn't I be further along then I am at this point? but the truth is not really you are still young and have years to figure stuff out. I also think it's a time to learn from your mistakes and to make mistakes because hell if your doing the same damn thing at 40 it's kind of pathetic. Basically the show just confirms everything I already know/experience as a girl in my 20's. One of the songs on the show has the following lyrics:
(BTW the girl singer's name is Shannon)
 I make the same mistakes
 Feels like I never learn
 Always give way too much
 For little in return
 I haven't changed a bit
 I’m still not over it
 I make the same mistakes
 I make the same mistakes
 Listen to it here: If you read my blog you know one of my current goals is to stop making the same mistakes JBRown pointed out maybe I should stop falling for people that have no interest in dating me (Point JBrown)so what if my favorite guy at work happens to have a live in girlfriend he nicknamed me Massachusetts lol and my other super hot coworker pulled an elaborate prank on me today sure he drives 3 hours to visit his girl whatever but I'm learning I swear I'm learning! The broke factor well I don't have that figured out in the slightest either. However I do know what I want to be doing so I just have to work harder on the steps to get there. Dear Girls show writer also the main character (2nd point JBrown) you should write me as the 5th eccentric LA girl who brings in the sunny optimistic perspective!~S~

Now this is a LOVE song!!

Now if someone wrote this for you it would be pretty fucking epic!

The Good Ol Days of Facebook

First off I have barely ever in the history of fb deleted friends or messages. I literally had messages from the beginning of fb time 2005 from "my" football player, guys telling me how hott I was cheerleading lol, about how to get my keys to move in the first day of cheer camp. Then the Umass emails scheduling scene rehearsals, messages about papers, and group projects. Then condolence messages and I hope you wells. Of course all my party invites were scattered thought it all from bonfires, pool parties, and pvpa get togethers. I have one entire strand of a 2 year friendship in one insanely long message (revision they don't delete just archive that's BS unless you go into everyone and hit delete I never thought i'd say this but maybe I don't want my entire life achieved). Needless to say it was time to delete then there were the people. If I had even an inkling of desire to know about your life I kept you but seriously people from my freshman year of college I can't name one thing about- gone! It took 2 hours to delete 80 people and I gave up to be resumed another day.. my hand cramped! Fb get it together we want to delete stuff make it easier! I remember the good ol days when your school had to be on the list and in order to sign up you had to a valid school email that matched the list. Those were standards so you could post about you college parties, hookups, and mishaps. Now I shutter to think what some people can see if they go back far enough considering almost EVERYONE I know has fb yes even my grandfather. College is such a unique once in a life time experience that really should not be shared with the world. Now I love being able to see pictures and messages from my friends all over the world and my cousin Joan in Ireland it's great for that but timeline come on I don't want a digital record of my life in public I just don't. Right now I go from being born (to one parent Patty apparently I never linked my dad as my Dad?!? and Jennie Brown as my older sister) to the Basketball Hall of Fame in 2004 what?!?!??! I'm too much of a sentimentalist to delete the whole thing and start a new account but part of me really wants to it seems easier but there still is a cyber record of an account not that you can "see" but of course it exists you can never really delete something from the internet (note to self stop posting party pics) ~S~
 PS I watered this down and sent it to fb feedback

An Emotional Nutcase

I am an emotional nutcase- I do not claim to not be I am fully admitting that I have no control over my emotions what so ever. At the moment when most people can breath and hold back tears I can't I just cry hysterically in the middle of my work...often. It's the same with happiness I am never just content but usually blissfully exhilarated. To me a minor offense is the end of the world and a small token of friendship a cherished item. There seems to be no middle ground when it comes to my feelings. You may wonder isn't this something you can work to control?!? Well I believe the answer is no or maybe. See I need to be emotional to be an actress if I can't cry on command what good am I? Well I can cry on command and laugh and convey all the entire spectrum of emotions because I am an actress and am in touch with my feeling and have no regrets at how I feel because it's my truth. Now doesn't that lead me into making a ridiculous spectacle of myself on occasion- it sure does- but I would rather a million times over know and be able to say how I feel then repress them for even a second. Because honestly what's the point of life without a little passion??? ~S~

Memory Removal

Have you ever thought about what it would be like to completely erase someone from your mind? I'm talking complete no existence Eternal Sunshine of the Spotless Mind Style gone from your memory. As a tagline from the movie poster says: You can erase someone from your mind. Getting them out of your heart is another story. I use to think that everything teaches you something and that you should never wish to forget any part of your life because it makes who you are. Now i'm inclined to reconsider... maybe somethings just are to painful to recall. I don't mean that you can't overcome them but just that it would be easier if you didn't have to. If given the chance like in the movie would you remove someone from your memory???