Breaking the Rose Colored Glasses

For those of you who don't know this slightly dated phrase:

rose-coloured glasses  (British & Australian) also rose-colored glasses/rose-coloured spectacles (American & Australian/British)

 -if someone thinks about or looks at something with rose-coloured glasses, they think it is more pleasant than it really is. She's nostalgic for a past that she sees through rose-colored glasses.

** Press Play and listen while reading to get the post's full effect **

      "La Vie En Rose" is a famous Edith Piaf she sings  "Je vois la vie en rose" (I see life in pink). I always identified with this idiom. I am a dreamer, an idealists, and sometimes in a slightly unhealthy way choose to see the world through rose colored glasses. I've chalked it up to being "my nature" and allowed myself to be swept into a dream at times. It doesn't matter so much if the "dream" was once based in truth sometimes the most lovely of stories is spoken then gets exaggerated till it takes on a life of it's own becoming a whole new story indeed.

      This week I was reconsidering some of the major events I've choosen to see with a nice large pair of heart shaped rose colored glasses. I could go into detail but that would give away part of my novel (River Song: SPOILERS) so you must be content to take my word for it. It's not so important to know what events I looked at but more so that I NO LONGER wish to see them that way.

     In Buddhism we have this idea that you must look as yourself clearly and only then can you see the reality of your situation. "Nichiren Daishonin stressed the importance of self-knowledge and inscribed the Gohonzon – that is, the object of devotion—as a mirror to reflect our true self, our innate Buddhahood. He goes so far as to say, “No other knowledge is purposeful” " So how can one see themselves clearly if they are looking at their world in a tainted way ?!?!? The answer is... THEY CAN'T!!!

      So I A) Identified the idea/dream that I wanted to change B) Looked at my role in perpetuating that ideal C) Decided to try and change it-    Sure now that's all well and good but what's left? I still felt crushed, angry, confused and exasperated. When in doubt it's best to get advice from someone older and wiser then you. Our Men's Division Leader and amazing actor Ron Glass indulged me tonight when I asked "If someone is deep in the world of anger how do they change that poison into medicine?". The following is not a direct quote but a compilation of a few various things he said:

 "We are seeing the world through the prism of our own weakness. When we do this humanistic practice religiously nobody can sway our life condition. It's the inner transformation that allows us to deal with and have the wisdom to create value from our external circumstances. We should learn to use that anger to create value"

     I will willingly admit that I was in tears because it was exactly the guidance I needed to hear. It was a statement of hope but also change. At the end of the day we have to take responsibility for our own actions and the way we choose to see our world. I want to create value out of all the things I've experienced no matter how painful. I want to rip off the rose colored glasses and shatter them on a slab of concrete till they smash in a million tiny shards. It's important to me to identify the difference between something that actually is and something that I want it to be. I deserve the best kind of amazing story one that doesn't need a rosy tint to make it beautiful it will just inherently already be that way. I've officially broke the rose colored glasses, I hope they weren't Prada.

I made this little graphic as part of a future collage it fell out of my diary while I was writing today :)

    

It's Like Totally Primal

  

         There are just some things that we as humans don't really acknowledge in our daily day to day lives. Once thing I almost never think of is that fact I am a living breathing organism, a creature on this planet, a mammal with a high functioning brain capable of self thought and regulation. That more animal like side of our nature seems to lie dormant hidden behind cell phones and pre prepared food.  Try to picture yourself as a cave person what you have been a hunter or a gatherer? Were the cave girls walking around hiking up their loin cloths to attract the men!?!? No they used their senses and let pheromones guide the way. Instinctually we still have certain elements of that time in us like the fight or flight response. Or in a physical way we still have harry bodies and wisdom teeth we don't need that shit we got snuggys and utensils.      
         I'm very familiar with mating in the modern age and actually very well versed in dating in the 19th century (thank you extensive Jane Austen research) but we know nothing about our older ancestors. I guess when you're trying to survive all the time you probably don't have much time for threesomes and catty girl fights over who stole your man. Who am I to make assumptions maybe that's exactly what they did we'll never know (unless the Doctor does eventually find me and take me away for an adventure in the Tardis- still hoping)! We assume they were ruled by the more animal side and less cognitive. I on the other hand am always all up in my head and have to constantly remind myself to check in with what my body is telling me. This is most apparent when I'm realizing i'm spiraling into an anxiety attack of how some emotion i'm containing is messing up my health and well being. There are these rare moments in life when something seems to almost "trigger" something deep within us.
       I had a really exhausting day at work mentally and physically. I got yelled at and bullied and my senses were on overdrive from this god awful ringer on our new phone system. I was telling a guy who i've known for some time now a little about the ordeal. He got all manly and serious and said "You just give me names and addresses and I will take care of it for you. No one gets to make you feel bad." Was he half joking yes (if we was fully serious I would be scared) was he still half serious though-YES! I know if I had said the word he would have done it for me with out flinching but he is that kind of person a little rough and reactive but sweet. I countered "Don't joke I know you would" pointer finger out with a squinting silly mean face. He replied "Name the time and the place" and we both laughed.

It was a face kind of like this but more silly!

     Was it all in good fun- sure... but the more surprising aspect of the whole conversation was that it was kind of hot. Like I actually really enjoyed the idea that this guy would defend my honor by physically kicking some one's ass. Which is totally contrary to my beliefs as a Buddhist who is against violence completely! What made this incident even more interesting to me was the fact I had literally just the night before watched an episode of Louie called "Bully" (which can be found on netflix) where on a date he didn't stand up to this punk kid who was giving him a hard time. His date went from being totally DTF to turned off. She's surprised he's surprised and she chalks it up to primal instincts and goes home in a cab. I laughed because I thought that would never happen in real life like that- until it did- today but in the reverse. It only further proved to me that you will never truly know how you will react in any given situation until you are really in it.
      Years ago when my mom was gushing breast junk out of a tube I was able to pull my shit together and get her to the hospital- not everyone can do that, trust me. I can preform well under immense pressure but then my first time in front of a gigantic Hollywood camera as an extra I was mesmerized like a deer in head lights staring straight at the camera (the biggest don't rule in film acting)- point is you NEVER KNOW. So here I was looking at this guy thinking about this hypothetical ass whooping and I was impressed. My reaction was not only shocking to me but made me re question my ideas about pacifism. Apparently somewhere deep inside me the urge for either protection or a domineering fight for survival still exists.
      Maybe it's because i'm getting in touch with my personal more angry side. Or perhaps it's simply because it was nice to think someone would go to such lengths to protect me because they care. Either way it brought to my awareness something that probably deserves a little self reflection- luckily I'm one of those mammals with a super awesome pattern of brain schema's to help me put it all together- thanks evolution! 

The Human Emotion Barometer

So at the group last week the facilitator made this analogy about humans keeping an emotion barometer in a clear white tube all throughout their gut to their throat. The idea goes something like this.....
A a baby we just flat out express ourselves. If we are hungry we cry if something makes us happy we laugh it's simple, pure, true to the present moment, and 100% natural.
As a toddler we start to filter our emotions maybe a child takes away your favorite toy so you start to cry and an adult comes along and says "stop crying" this scares you so you stop and that emotion goes into your inner emotional tube.
As a kid you have more and more experiences and society teaches you the rules on how to be and not be. You look to peers and parents for affirmation you're doing "the right thing" anything that is deemed "the wrong thing" you keep inside you and your inner emotions fill up more and more
As a teen you are just frickin full of emotions and are still learning ways to express them in a healthy way at the same time your body is changing, your hormones are crazy, and you think you know everything which leaves you a hot mess- super filling up that tube.
As an adult you've now learned many things but you also have "learned"(behavior forming) things that make you present yourself in a particular away. You filter yourself, your environment, and push away all the things that don't fit into you definition of what you want to acknowledge (or if your one of the lucky ones you work on a path of inner peace :) so that tube stars getting filled to the brim.

Let's take me- I'm "sweet" the number one word people always use to describe me is sweet. After a few years of a friendship I get creative or witty but from casual acquaintances it is ALWAYS sweet. Can one person really be sweet all the time?!?!?
The answer: HELL NO!
        The emotion i'm most notorious for holding in is anger. For more thoughts on that see my past post The "Hulk" In You I remember in 7th grade my teacher yelled at me for chatting and I cried! I was so embarrassed I was 14 and crying because I got yelled at. To this day I do no do well with authoritative yelling (the army would be my personal hell). My frustration at something usually results in floods and floods of tears. Last week when I was denied something I very much needed all that could come out was tears I was sooooooooooo angry. I was not sad but I was so frustrated and the only way I could express myself was an outpouring of emotion via my tear ducts.
    Which brings me back to the emotional barometer. After years and years of containing all these emotions you have there reaches a point where you can just no longer take it and a release is inevitable. The extreme would be going bat shit crazy and like killing someone or getting drunk and spewing out all you deep dark thoughts about everyone and everything. Some people never "release" it and those are those high strung people who yell at traffic, the waitress, and anybody who crosses their path.
    On my journey one of the things that has helped me more then anything else throughout the years is writing letters. For me it provides a way to say everything I truly want to say without the other person's reaction in my face (which can seriously deter you from speaking your honest inner truth in person) I don't often give these letters to people which is a shame because the language is often very powerful, intense, and poetic. I've been sick for the past few months and my body literally started to reject anything I ate yet I gained a ton of weight clearly I was a mess. For me whenever the body goes haywire the solution is acupuncture and some serious talk therapy!
     I was warned that sometimes an outpouring of emotion comes after the treatment and I remember having immediate responses when I did acupuncture back in MA. At first I just came home and had the urge to write in my diary (yes I actually do right things not on the internet that I intend no one to see ever).  Then I felt the need to write a letter and then another then a third... at this point I was like you need to stop you have to go to work. So I dropped it for about 6 hours when I got home I went to continue my nightly routine of chanting, checking my sites, and Orange is the New Black ( seriously have you watched it yet it's sooo good)  but I felt strongly compelled to pick up that note pad again- the result... 5 more letters.
     I was truly shocked the only thing that made me stop writing was the fact it was 3 AM my writing looked like a 3 year olds and was completely illegible, and my eyes were swollen almost entirely shut from the tears. That probably sounds terrible but it was actually super amazing!!! It was so intensely cathartic and I felt like I was truly expressing myself for the first time in months. There was nothing "sweet" about it most of it was pure anger coming out in poetic lines of rage and it felt heavenly. After a second treatment it only went deeper which really helped me re define what I was angry about, the triggers, and what it all stemmed from.
     My emotional barometer was almost entirely shattered or at least seriously dumped out into like a sewer pit of shit. It was like everything I've been holding in about my Mom's death, my past loves, my current situation- everything was expelled. It was out on the table for only me to see so I could take a real hard deep look and put it back together in some semblance of inner sanity. There truly is something to be said for laying out all your cards on the table. So I took care of some Mom stuff with the group, got out all this inner rage through the letters, and I've taken steps to be more aware of how I hide the anger from myself and push it deep down inside me. I don't want to look back in another 2 years filled to the brim again with emotion. I want to live a life of truth it's all I've ever wanted and it's what I will strive for every day of my existence. How full is your human emotional barometer??? This chicks is looking a little full.....

I don't know if i've ever experienced an "emofunk" but it sounds kinda fun!

Motherless Daughters: Week Eight

      So I have been on the most amazing journey of coming to terms with how mother loss has effected me and how it will continue to do so in my future. Every thought, fear, feeling I've had about losing my Mom so young these woman have also had. I went from feeling like a weird leper that no one understand to a sisterhood of women who get me more then anyone else ever could. They don't have to just have sympathy because they lived it so they actually know. I'm not claiming to be "over it" or that i've "moved on" because now I know it doesn't work like that. There are major moments in a women's life when we just NEED our mothers end of story. Sometimes we are lucky enough to get mother substitutes but it will never compare to the moment you find out you're pregnant and you just want to pick up the phone and call your Mom.
     On my last week (some girls are still going) we talked about what was are greatest benefit what did we learn from the group etc. I already mentioned mine which was being with others who knew how I felt. The other aspect that was truly worth it was to see how mother loss effected everyone at these key major life moments. Even though i'm not getting married, thinking about if I want to have a kid, or having one right now it hasn't stopped me thinking about how the loss will effect all of those moments for me. It's impossible for the mind not to go there because since childhood we imagine those moments with our Mother in that lineage of female legacy. To not have her there means we have to re-imagine how those moments will be no longer the fantasy we once imagined but a colder harder truth.
    I saw through them how those life changing moments were being effected by the loss and the thoughts they shared were the thoughts I had when thinking about "how it will be." You might say there's no point in all this pre planning but it's impossible for someone who knows how transient life is not to go there we know how precious and how little of life we get. I wish I could share specific details of how much each of them have helped me but it's just too personal to share their stories with you (and totally a breech of confidentiality). Needless to say each of the woman have a deep place in my heart now and I will never forget their impact on me.
    Overall I allowed myself to go to that place that is super painful and raw. To talk about the things that no one else will ever let me talk about. Or if they do they can't even comprehend what it is actually like for me and no matter how much they want to help it's just "not the right thing" to say. I feel like a huge burden of suffering i've been carrying on her behalf is lifted basically because I've now accepted that this loss has a life long impact and it's never really goes away just eases. Before I felt like I had to put it behind and move on where now I am trying to incorporate it into my life without such a big dramatic to do. I miss her love, her support, her views on life, and the subtle way she would teach me life lessons. I want to thank my Aunt Sheila for giving me the funds to participate, Irene for leading this endeavor, and the lovely woman who made these past 8 weeks truly life changing. Words can't express how grateful I truly am- merci beacoup xoxox ~S~

Did you get married ?!?!

      I have one really nice ring that does indeed look like it could be an engagement ring. I absolutely adore it. When I was in high school I really wanted a traditional class ring- always so nostalgic. My cousin even had a ring dance where they were given out with flourish. My Dad however said he wanted to buy me a "real" ring one that I would actually want to wear 10 years after high school. At the time I kind of pouted till we were on a cruise going to a "special dealer" a friend of a friend knew or something (my father always has a friend of a friend for everything- even apparently jewelers in St Martin). The waiting throughout the trip was anguish because we went by many a fine shop but when we finally did it was worth it. They sat me in a high chair and served us Mimosas. They would bring out a tray and I would say I like this cut, this design etc. the shop owner said he had "just the thing- bold and romantic" and boy was he right. I never loved a piece of Jewelry that much and I still don't have anything that come close to measuring up.

        The stone is called Tanzanite a rare gem that is only mined in Tanzania and not found anywhere else in the world and it's surrounded by diamonds it could indeed be an engagement ring. I wore it the rest of high school and into college and never once was questioned about it. When I came to LA I started getting bothered by it being on my right hand - it would hit the jewelry counters at work, get caught when putting out the scarfs etc. It was worse at my desk job constantly brushing the calender, dirty money, and getting caught in the phone cord. So I made a decision to start wearing it on my left hand and that's when all the questions happened. At least once a day when I would wear it someone would say "Are you engaged?" complete strangers asking- even people know know me "Did you get married" ( like what secretly over the weekend in Vegas?). As an unmarried women I found this annoying- no I'm not engaged- no I didn't get married- yes I realize it's on the left hand- I do understand that "means" i'm married etc. So then when people asked I started saying " I'm protesting the symbolism of the left hand meaning you must be married" I just want to wear it on that finger on that hand!
   One of the counselors asked "why are you wearing on the left hand guys aren't going to know your single and they won't ask you out" I said "Good I like wording off stupid people like that." Then just the other day "ya know wearing a ring on that finger implies you're married"- who does not know that?!?!? here's a brief history on how everyone does indeed know that

"Before medical science discovered how the circulatory system functioned, people believed that a vein of blood ran directly from the fourth finger on the left hand to the heart. (This belief allegedly dates to the 3rd century BC in Greece.) Because of the hand-heart connection, people named the putative vein descriptively vena amori, Latin for 'the vein of love'. Due to this tradition, it became accepted to wear the wedding ring on this finger. By wearing rings on the fourth finger of their left hands, a married couple symbolically declares their eternal love for each other. This has now become a matter of tradition and etiquette.

In most Western cultures, the wedding ring is worn on the left hand. In some countries, however, such as Germany, Norway, and Chile, it is worn on the right hand. Orthodox Christians, Eastern Europeans and Jews also traditionally wear the wedding band on the right hand.
Etiquette frowns severely on the making of sexual overtures to a man or woman wearing a wedding ring."

       So no I'm not married and I do not plan on wearing this ring on any other finger because it's sized for my ring finger and it's annoying to wear on my right hand- the end.  The point of the post is not to bitch about this recent social norm that been appearing in my life but to bring awareness to the fact that we as human do things that are suppose to "mean something." However most of the time it's something we as humans have constructed ourselves. There is no set reason as to how to wear a ring but societal norms have dictated it to be that way. I think it's important to remember that not everything has be the way society tells us it should be. We all have our own minds and it's important to consider what is important for each of us in our own lives.

An Open Love Letter to the Bealtes

Dear George, Paul, Ringo, and John
        It's now year 2013 and i'm a basic 26 year old American girl attempting to live out her dreams in LA. I'm sad that I did not live during the revolution that was the British Invasion and subsequent tripped out days of the late 60's it totally would of been my jam. I wanted to send a letter of my deep appreciation for the amazing music you made together it is truly life changing. As a kid I always heard your music at the bars my parents dragged me to, blasting from the radio by the pool in the summer, and hummed by the random stranger walking by at the grocery store. It wasn't until my 20's did I really start to get into it more on my own. My best friend was a musician and we spent many a night at her gigs, friends gigs, and impromptu jam session by bonfires. When I backpacked through Europe I made sure to stop at Liverpool and check out where you lads grew up. Seeing instruments you actually played, walking down streets you traveled down, and spots your wrote about was exhilarating.

          When my Mom was dying of cancer my siblings and I would play Bealtes Rockband in our basement for hours. No one was allowed down and the C would couldn't be mentioned your music became our escape and our temporary joy. I always played guitar or bass I was super rubbish at drums. I got a kick out of trying to imitate your voices to try and get the perfect vocal score. We even did the day tripper completing the entire the game in one 24 period! We only slept 6 hours and our fingers had those insane gaming bumps on them.After she passed I would spend hours just listening to you music laying on my bed doing nothing but listening because I couldn't bring myself to do anything else.

          That Christmas I got the newly remastered entire discography that had just came out. My friend and I spent the next few days listening to the entire collection back to back leading up to new years. It was intense, fun, and at times mind boggling we both had really wanted to see the progression of the styles over time and boy did you guys really experiment and constantly explore your sound! I also listened to the entire collection (minus the Yellow Submarine Soundtrack that was only bearable once- sorry guys) on my way from Massachusetts to LA just me the long straight road west and your music. My first birthday here I ended up at a bar called Britannia where an Asian Beatles tribute band was playing and I was in heaven especially when they sang "Birthday" to me right at midnight. One older guy turned me as I danced and sang ALL the lyrics "How do you know all this" he asked. "I'm a super fan" I replied.

             The thing about the music is that there is a song for literally every mood and emotion you could be experiencing. Sometimes I would just hit Beatles shuffle and wait.... then a song would come on and I would be like "yes!" that's what I mean- those lyrics are incomparable.  "Here Comes the Sun" that first joy you feel after a long winter. "I Want You (she's so heavy) " that intense longing for someone you are so into. I could go on forever but those are my two favorites. Your sound changed so drastically over time and as you grew and changed so did the music and lyrics- the songs truly are masterpieces for the modern age. When I meet people from other countries they have Beatles stories as well and I'm enamored by the fact you have reached every inch of this plant with your music even so many years after the break up. I know if I ever have kids they will hear The Beatles as they grow and learn to love and appreciate the music as much as I do- it's a legacy I'm happy to pass down. George, Paul, Ringo, and John thank you for creating the most amazing music you've reached the heart of girl who could never thank you enough.
                                                                                                       All you need is LOVE,
                                                                                                                            Your fan Shannon ~S~

My Male Broke Feminist

I read this article first: 101 Everyday Ways For Men to be Allies
which is not super great because it is extremely repetitive the same ideas in different words but it helped me realize some of things that have been bothering me recently.
These are the key ones that really stuck out to me as a woman:
1. Recognize your privileges, especially your male privilege (and white privilege if applicable)
8. Be aware of how you flirt with a woman.
10. If you’re going to be chivalrous (on dates) or in everyday life, do it for everyone out of kindness, not just for women or people you think aren’t capable of doing things themselves. 
20. Ask for consent, always. 
29. Challenge everyday sexism in your life. 
37. Support musicians and artists that do not degrade women in their music and lyrics. 
44. Don’t be the hero, savior, or knight in shining armor
47. Work with your partner or spouse on how to mutually share responsibilities.
48. Men aren’t the only ones who have orgasms. Remember that!!! 
49. Don’t judge women by their choice of clothing. 
60. Don’t assume she will take your last name if you both agree to marry. 
63. Defy traditional male stereotypes.
                                              AND MY NUMBER 1 FAVORITE:
31. Stop telling her you’re “different than other guys.” Don’t speak. Do.

   
       I have been struggling across the board with the idea of privileged (specifically gender and wealth) over the past 2 years. Let me start by saying this is in NO WAY a pity post but more of a privilege expose on how it directly effects my life. LA is rampant with uber wealthy and people who literally just throw money away. You do not need 20 pairs of sunglasses all $300+ for you collection  (true story a woman at the store had a "collection"). It's no secret I have epically struggled with money since moving here because I pay for everything on my own rent, student loans, bills, gas, food the only thing shared it utilities and internet the rest is all me. If you have a partner you can split a good chunk of bills in half or if you still live with your family. I see everyday the benefits of these different lifestyles and I include myself in that as well because we may not have severe issues like clean water such as they have in a 3rd world countries.
        One thing I'm angry about is it that your version of "broke" means you can't buy X at the store or go to Y again this month. For me "broke" means eating roman for an entire week or never having left the county of LA not because I'm not dying to go to Vegas/San Diego/San Fran/Wine Country but because even gas costs something. It is not the same thing if you can come home and someone (partner/family etc) will feed you and there will be a roof over your head -there is no comparison. There is no safety net or guarantee for some people so right there PRIVILEGE. I'm also aware of the ways I am privileged for instance I have family who would be able to help me in emergencies. On Orange is the New Black when Taystee gets out of prison she has no family, friends, or money so she eventually, on purpose, gets herself put back in. There is no back up there is no plan B. I am so lucky to have choices and I accept how my choice has put me into the position I am in- I think that is called being an adult.
        A few months ago there was incident at work where an older male client gave me a ring and then due to policy (created because of this incident) I had to give it back. As I expressed my various feelings and concerns I had 2 very different general responses. From men they were basically "what did you do to make him do that?" "why do you think he'll do anything "bad" (stalk me, get angry, call me all the time)?" and "it's not a "big deal." From women the response I got was "Are you ok giving it back? Do you want me to be there?" "Would you want to see him or was it totally weird and unsolicited?"  I felt extremely "blame it on the victim" like and completely unsupported.
    I didn't know why I was having such an intense reaction to the situation back then and it isn't until now when I read this article about men being feminist allies did it click into place MALE PRIVILEGE. I was crying when one male counselor said to me "Would it make you feel better if I was there when you returned the ring" I was sooooo grateful because it did make me feel immensely better that this person would support me in something that he saw was challenging when another male straight up intentionally walked away at the same moment because he (who had literally nothing to do with it other then being my "friend") couldn't handle the awkwardness/pressure. When I asked gentleman A later on why he though to offer his support he said from a domestic violence perspective (he runs our DV program) "you as the front desk person are the most vulnerable" (meaning we are stationary, have set hours, and can be easily found/stalked/watched). I knew he was right because that was the same feeling I had and regardless of how "unlikely" or "unwarranted" it may seem. That fear is inherent as part of the social structure, gender roles, and general bs that I as a women feel ( I am only speaking for myself alone).
    Now let's fast forward to the present day when in the past month on various fronts have I been directly impacted by both wealth and gender privilege. I've been meaning to write about it for quite some time since it is very much on my mind. Of course in this world these things exist and really it seems like nothing can be done because they are so ingrained in our social life pulse. However the number one thing that can be done about any stereotype or privilege is awareness %110. You can't know when you are doing something wrong unless you educate yourself on what it means to be othered etc. The most important things we have are our words and actions. We must speak carefully, wisely, and from a place of love. We must act from a place of integrity, honesty, and openness.
   So you're probably asking what does all of that have to do with the title of the piece My Male Broke Feminist...... well on to that topic.... let's recap first
1) Privilege and Stereotypes exist in our current society
2) Only you can make smart, educated, thoughtful choices for your own existence and in turn betterment of the whole
AND THAT BRINGS US TO 3
3) Surround yourself with people who are standing up for the same

     I want to be around people who are active in being the best kind of people they can be. That's a huge reason why I choose to join my particular Buddhist organization. There are certain things romantically that are %100 deal breakers for me like not being a equal rights ally, being racist, being  elitist and not being a person who can speak from their heart. Today I realized I think a good man for me would be someone who knows what it's like to struggle (that's the broke part) and someone who can truly decide in their heart that equality among the sexes is important (feminist). During my last college class the TA was telling me about how her husband was a feminist and things he did rallies, talking to his friends, standing up for women etc and I was so amazed that a man like that existed. This idea is very important to me because not only do I believe in it but I want to be with someone who does as well. The hardships in life are there because they help us see the joy and the beauty. I'm willing to make a stand to educate myself, be an equal rights ally, and always be open to every individuals story and struggle. Will you do the same?

Pruning Privilege
Cute Cartoon About this Concept